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This Is Why The More Friends We Make The Lonelier We Feel

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by Conscious Reminder

I have never met anyone who hasn’t felt lonely at some point of time in their lives.

The fact is that loneliness is one of the most common parts of our modern day life. And this fact is saddening.

When loneliness strikes us and begins to affect us, we decide to go out in the world and make friends and we think and assume that these friends will be our salvation. We think that we will be happy when we are around people.

But, will we be happy?

Here are a few things that you must understand about the idea of loneliness and the way to deal with it:

1. You can be lonely even around people:

This is the most important thing that I have learnt in my adult life. Yes, I can be alone even when I have people around me because loneliness is not related to how many people are around you; it is the way you feel inside when people are around you. If even when people are around, you feel unfulfilled and sad, then you are lonely even around people and this may be happening because of the kind of people around you. If those who are around you are selfish and don’t add much value to your life, then it is certain that you will end up feeling lonely around such people, no matter what!

2. You have to understand the purpose of the connection you are making:

When you are trying to forge connections with people, you have to understand the purpose behind the connection. This means that you have to think about why you are being friends with the people around you; is it out of loneliness or is it to learn new things or is it to look good, whatever purpose you decide. But the fact is that if the purpose behind your connections is selfish, then the connection will not be fulfilling for anyone. So, make connections that strive for becoming better together.

3. Learn to use your lonely time:

At the same time, you have to realize that it is not so bad to be alone. You can actually do a lot of things in your lonely time and can use it for your own benefit. Develop a habit or just read or spend time with yourself. Accept yourself and be happy with yourself and you will stop feeling lonely. You will learn to be happy just with yourself.

4. Stop trying too hard to make friends:

Don’t try too hard to make friends because when you try too hard, you give up on the ethical values of your life just in order to get some company and that’s not fair. Stick by the values that you have and if people want to be friends with you, it’s fine. If not, don’t change yourself just to be accepted by other people around you.

5. Look out for deep connections:

Search for depth in connections. Be friends with people who understand you and who enrich your life; who add value to your existence and make you a better person everyday; who teach you to strive consistently for your goals and who tell you to be the person that you are. It is extremely important to seek depth in connections because shallow friendships are just going to make you feel lonely and taken for granted.

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