by Conscious Reminder
According to one article from the New York Times, spending some time with optimistic people is going to bring us a lot of benefits for our health. So, if you want to feel healthier, you should spend more time with positive people, instead of with negative ones.
There are certainly going to be some health benefits when hanging out with people that are more supportive, kind, generous and optimistic after all. It is also evident that someone would not prefer to be around individuals that are jealous, negative, angry, undermining, hostile and spiteful.
And what about individuals who look like positive ones, but in fact are not? What about handing with friends that you believed were optimistic and positive, but they were not? What would happen if those people were pseudo-positive? You would probably want to notice that.
So, what kind of people are those that seem positive but they aren’t? Well, they are, in fact, the individuals-pleasers of this world: they are always helpful, friendly and gorgeous peers. They help everyone all the time, on a personal and professional level.
They are never saying “NO,” or confronting someone about something that does not please them. They do not express annoyance or anger directly, and they will never ask for something they actually want, instantly. Regardless of inconvenience, they will always be there for everything you need.
At first glance, all these descriptions indicate to excellent people surrounding you. They will always help you, and they will never express dissatisfaction about something; you can always count on them, and your request will never be refused. However, this is quite suspicious. It is not possible that a person is so consistently and genuinely helpful and he or she never has some needs for himself or herself.
The real positive individuals belong to the group of kind people. They care, love and are open-hearted, who know how they should care for themselves too. They can also say “NO” or they feel comfortable when they express their needs and feelings.
The pseudo-positive individuals belong to the group of nice people. They look for love or approval from other people, and that’s why they are trying a lot to please you.
In fact, kind individuals are the real positive ones as they do not need something from you. They choose to hang out with you as they actually enjoy being in your presence and they like you a lot. They also give you some of their time and energy as it will make them feel happy doing that. Kind people are also authentic.
On the other side, nice individuals are not authentic. They only have the need to show you the “good” side they have. They actually do not show the real feelings or the needs they have, as they fear offending or imposing.
Unluckily, that is going to prevent you from getting to know them better. You cannot know what hides behind the optimistic and positive mask.
These people also have high expectations from you, although they don’t show that. It is quite not possible to feel all those unsaid expectations of approval and affirmation by your side.
You will feel pressure as they will ask you to validate them all the time. Also, being in relationship, it is going to be stressful, unsatisfying and superficial.
Because of all that we mentioned above, it is essential to make a difference between real positive individuals and pseudo-positive ones. You should pay closer attention to how they behave. When they are nice, and they say “yes” all the time, be careful.
Always have your eyes wide open, so you will have the ability to recognize the true optimistic and positive individuals.
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