Although divorce seems scary to many people, staying together for some wrong reasons will not make things much better for them. If we are in a relationship which is toxic, the best possible thing that we can do is get out of it.
When talking about moving forward after a divorce, one of the first things which come to our mind is our children and what effects the divorce will have on them.
Staying together only “for the children” may do much more damage and be painful than we might even realize. For sure, separation is going to change the lives of our kids, but in a lot of ways, such changes will be for the better.
Here, we will talk about some ways in which our refusal to stop the toxic relationship can hurt our children. Sticking around has many negative sides, and we definitely won’t be the single person that will suffer.
Children may not be aware of what happens around them, but they are going to have the ability to see how miserable we are.
These are the six ways in which our children suffer when our marriage is toxic.
Afraid of intimacy
As this would be the only type of love which our children ever saw so close to them, they could decide that intimacy isn’t something they really want. Our relationship with the father/mother of the children is the one which they actually see as a basic one for every other relationship on a romantic level. If we have a horrible relationship, why would we stay in it? We definitely don’t want our daughter to be stuck in a similar situation one day.
Tension in our home
When the relationship between our parent and us is toxic, our children are going to notice. They are going to feel all the tension present in their home, and many of them will also put the tension onto their own selves. They are going to struggle to understand what is normal because they are continually going to wonder when things will go too far than usual.
Although girls experience emotional problems intensely than their counterparts, the boys, both of them will be affected. Children are emotionally insecure, which means that struggling and fighting through together will make them feel quite insecure. Our children can see a lot more than we believe they can. They will be aware even when we fight in private.
Lack of confidence
Those children that are growing up with parents who constantly fight or argue with each other will not feel as significant as those that don’t. They will have a lack of confidence in several areas, and they will also struggle to say what they would like to say. In fact, this can damage the relationship they have with their parents. They will think that asking their parents for some help will be impossible and they won’t feel nurtured.
In families in which the relationship between the parents is toxic, male children will show some behavioral problems. In fact, this happens as they don’t know how they can handle everything in front of them. When the things around them become more violent, they may just lash out and behave strangely.
Those children that live in unhappy homes are usually pretty moody. In fact, they never really know what to expect before they come home, and their days change quickly too. Small problems can turn children against other people and prepare them to lock themselves in their rooms, as well. This is simply one way they cope.
When two people divorce, the world will not end. However, it is really important to explain to our children what happens and that behind this happening, there are logical reasons too.
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