by Conscious Reminder
It’s quite a common knowledge that empaths have a strange attraction towards narcissistic people. We all know that narcissists are terrible people to be in a relationship with.
They will kill the relationship some way or the other, but in the process, their toxicity will kill you from the inside too. So, why are they so attracted to narcissists? Is it a fatal attraction? No, rather, it’s a co-dependent relationship.
Firstly, in such a relationship, there is a bit of role-playing that takes place. The wounded person is the narcissist and the healer is the empath. Narcissists generally have a childhood trauma which makes them negative and to some extent, toxic, for other people.
They need validation for their sorrow and also, admiration that they can live with the pain. However, their trauma does not give them a blow to their confidence – they are charismatic and can be quite deceiving too. They are experts at shifting blames as well.
Then, there is the empath – they are always absorbing the pain of others. They are struggling to keep up in pace with their own emotions – they are taking on more of the emotions of other people.
Thus, they fail to save themselves from toxic energy and take up the role of the healer for the narcissist.
Another specific thing that the relationship has is power dynamics. It’s essentially based on ‘give’ and ‘take’. Hence, in such a relationship, one person is the giver – that is the empath trying to spread out their healing energy.
On the other hand, there is the taker – the narcissist who receives the gift of healing. The result is that the empath is drained out of their energy by giving so much support. But then, what about the narcissist?
They have a simple role – they want to take support and so, they will try to control and manipulate the empath in any way. They become the caring victim and start exploiting the support that they receive.
The Cycle Of Viciousness
Due to the imbalance of the relationship, it quickly turns toxic. You cannot really achieve a balance in such a relationship. The unconditional love that the empath bestows upon the victim will never be returned.
But then, the wounded starts to exhibit all the narcissist characteristics that they have. They want to protect the source of their unlimited validation.
They would never make the empath feel worthy – rather, they would concretize themselves in the victim status and make the empath feel like their charm is not working. The empath will blame themselves and feel unworthy.
When the narcissistic tendencies make way to the outside, the empath realizes the destructive person that their partner is. Now, it’s their choice: to keep indulging in a toxic relationship or to walk away with better self-awareness.
The struggle is difficult but you have to accept the loving partner has changed. They have shown their true colors. At this point, you have to realize that we are all products of our own actions and choices.
No one else can fix us – we have to choose to fix ourselves. You do not need to be the sacrificial lamb – you do not need that amount of toxicity in your life.
Choose to walk away – no one owns you or your time.
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