Love is said to be the constant in our lives, regardless of the fact that we are attempting to find and understand it or simply attempting to heal ourselves from its effects when it ends.
Regardless of how hard we would like to avoid love, the best thing we can do is follow our hearts and seek the presence of love in our lives while also knowing that every emotion we feel does not always mean a happy and romantic ending.
So, the question is how toxic codependency and love are different. Are our emotions the ones of real love, or are they equal to those of a non-dependent and toxic bond that is inevitably going to lead us to end up with a broken heart?
To better understand this, first of all, we have to realize that a healthy and reasonable relationship is not the one we fell into, but it is the one in which we grow. We never fall into real love, or we do not feel like we are driven to insanity and madness when we actually feel real love.
Although loving unconditionally is the best thing, overlooking our partners’ flaws to the point of entirely sacrificing everything we are standing for will be the only definition of permitting codependency to take us over.
In the relationships that are overloaded with codependency, we could probably feel fiercely or aggressively attracted to and interested in our partners while also being overwhelmed and shaken with anxiety.
While we get to know the person better, we are going to keep growing dissatisfied with the person he or she is while having a lack of the foresight and insight that are needed to end the relationship and then grow with someone else.
Rather than understanding that what we have to do, such as accept him or her or simply move ahead, we are going to feel the necessity to change that person. Instead of loving him or her for the person he or she is, we are going to resent them, feeling unloved the whole way.
In fact, true love will always embrace our partner’s individuality and even his or her capacity to be the person that he or she is—without us judging them. When we aren’t able to accept a person, or we cannot let him or her go, then we are not in love.
It means that we are toxically connected with that person whom we cannot love, but we are connected with him or her through something that is far beyond our control.
We have to search for resolution from the inside. We should not permit ourselves to lose ourselves for someone who we cannot truly love, and rather than that, lose ourselves to a person we are destined to.
When we finally realize each difference, we should permit ourselves to let everything go.
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