We’re all seekers. Whether we want knowledge, hidden truths, answers, solutions, explanations, a soulmate, life partner, happiness, fulfillment, or purpose.
Many of us don’t know how to be with what is without seeking what’s missing. To seek is the nature of the mind and soul.
The seeking mind goes into overdrive when something is wrong, especially internally or externally. Find solution to end suffering now.
Masculinity has long caused hyper-overdrive in women, men, and non-binary people. Forcing. Poking. Prodding. Fix. Fix. Must fix what’s broken. Hypervigilance may be the cause of our illness, individually or globally.
We have been told that a virus, a terrorist group, a collapsing economy, an armed shooter, or, more insidiously, an inner sense of threat from the poison in our food, the toxins in our air, the chemicals, parasites, and molds all around us are out to get us. Chronic illness is common and worsening.
Language breeds fear, which breeds sicker language. How we talk about such things sustains us energetically. We use words to instill fear in our cells and bodies.
Chronic disease cycle. Unknown illness. A bodily disturbance. A misdiagnosed disease. Mental illnesses include anxiety, depression, insomnia, paranoia, social withdrawal, and isolation. I want to be seen in my struggle and pain, but I fear showing my frailty and vulnerability.
We forget ourselves. We lose hope. Will we ever be “normal” again? We never expected to lose so much to life illness. Grief and guilt over not enjoying life because we are still suffering.
Is unprocessed trauma dictating everything? Or the feeling of being attacked for so long that we don’t feel safe? Perhaps both. Yet we have been mentally “under attack” for so long, shouting, “What’s wrong with you?! Why can’t you differ? You’re broken! You are unworthy of love and care unless you change.”
Attack. Attack. Both internal and external wars are the same. Remember this noble truth. Hidden sage wisdom. As we find peace within our warring selves and parts, so will the world. We can rage all day at injustices and atrocities, but are we becoming warriors of dysregulation or peace by regulating our energy and selves to set the world’s example? Anger should not be suppressed. Or avoided grief. Can we remember that healing always starts and ends with us?
Toxic and healthy masculine energy. Toxic and healthy feminine energy exist. We all have toxic masculine energy of abuse, harm, affliction, violence, attack, and manslaughter to some extent. We’re all part of systems and families of suffering masculine energy. Father at war. An unstable home. We absorbed external violence, lack of safety, and anger into our bodies and beings, but now we must uproot and purify this energy.
Addictions, escape, and God, please let me escape this crushing weight of deep, core, self-attack and self-rejection were ways we coped with inner violence.
Scorpio season, a time of deep self-reflection, has shown us the sh*t, the subconscious energy ruling our lives. The unprocessed pain and emotions we’re afraid to feel because we haven’t practiced body safety. To feel deeply, we must feel safe.
Scorpio season, like all Scorpio seasons, was intense. It felt eclipse-like, jaded, and still stinging from cycles we thought were over. We returned to energies we thought were cleared. Depression may have weighed us down. Not wanting to continue. To quit. To retreat into darkness.
On November 13, we had a Scorpio new moon, which brought up the first sliver of this warring Mars, or imbalanced masculine energy, and felt eclipse-like in Scorpio energy that has been clearing, transmuting, and healing deep inner attachments for some time. New moon felt like full moon. We’re still integrating energies.
The Sagittarius season began on November 22. Time to rise like the phoenix from fire. Despite deep pain and processing, we are still finding our wings. It’s not a one-stop, total healing finale. Another layer. Another encounter follows. Journey into darkness to advance in light. Fire-sign Sagittarius. A cauldron. Passion. The lifeblood. The spirit of life. Awakening. Energizing us. If you still feel emotional pain and discord, give yourself time, space, and grace. No straight path, always seeing, knowing, and deepening. Let your healing be that and don’t blame yourself for not being healed.
We can use Sagittarius energy to remind ourselves of the freedom we want and how worthy a goal it is. Even if we feel bound by past choices and karma. Remember that freedom is a state of being, not a destination. We must know we are soul-free to be truly free. Free from attachments, traumas, and pain. We’re not them. These fleeting things don’t define us, but they feel chronic.
Diseased bodies and minds are not us. We can work to bring divinity and healing to those parts of us, but we suffer mostly because we identify as pain, chronic illness, and mental illness. Knowing our deep capacity beyond those things is freedom. All part of our human experience but not who we are. Freedom is ours and every sovereign remembering being’s. We just need to remember.
Masculine energy in imbalance wants to control and dominate. Many of us felt unsafe around masculine energy as children or were not shown someone embodied and healthy in their masculine energy. So it failed. We learned to suppress our emotions and control our bodies and beings with force and punishment. Not our fault we developed these ways to digest toxic and imbalanced masculinity. We were trying to understand this illness. One that has likely been passed down in the family for millennia as hyper-productivity, external success, or hyper-individuation and independence while we suffered internally.
The full moon in Gemini on November 27 at 4:16 a.m. ET or 10:16 a.m. CET at 5 degrees of the air sign will allow us to explore these energies. A Sagittarius counterpart is Gemini energy. It’s opposite. Gemini represents Tarot’s Lovers card. Energy matching between partners. Relationship. The inner duality. Self-duality. We always have options. Man and woman united.
Gemini means understanding that life is dual. Understanding grief brings joy. Knowing hopelessness helps us remember faith. We restore disease and can bridge healing. Nothing unites us. People are many things. We teach and learn. Inner child and higher self. They’re sick and healed.
Quick, fast, Gemini energy speaks and thinks quickly. Ideas flow constantly in Mercurial. Mercury rules the mind, which rarely rests. Geminis can be playful, humorous, and depressed. Dual emotions and moods persist. Gemini energy is about learning new skills, hobbies, knowledge, and ways of being.
This Gemini full moon is fiery. It opposes Mars in Sagittarius. Our masculine energy is highlighted again. Warrior self. Do we act impulsively or do we take time to explore our anger?
This may heat up our emotions. Our minds may be racing to find the cause of our anger. Even if we self-directed our anger because we felt safer expressing it internally, it’s repression energy. After so long of self-directed anger, we wonder how to safely express it without harming others. Examine our anger relationship now. Use healthy expression, not repression.
Mars and the sun will be conjunct. Our conscious selves should step outside of the warring, afflicted self. To free our egos from these tired self-identities. From sacred containment and healthy boundary setting with self or others, to develop healthy ego relationships. For self and others, boundaries are often the most loving act. Learning to say, “No, I will not allow this energy to enter my sacred heart and harm me anymore without my permission.”
Because saying no to habits, addictions, and subtle and overt self-harm is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves. And to have grace for oneself while using addictions to meet needs. Because we’re still learning to hear and honor unmet needs. We’re realizing we need to balance and temper our masculine energy.
Sun and moon will square Saturn. Tough love energy. The inner father. Karmic lesson. We cannot keep being victimized by self-harm. We must stop letting our beliefs keep us in pain and trauma. Even when our traumas want us to run back to comfort and self-harm, we can gently, lovingly, and firmly take our own hands and walk toward the next, wisest, and healthiest step.
Saturn is wise, so we must follow our own advice. We don’t want to repeat lessons we’re ready to forget. Let the lesson shine, but remember this is a choice. Remember that you always have a choice and are one step away from a new energy with Gemini’s choice energy. Your suffering is avoidable. You can decide again. Any moment, we can ask: what is the next best, healthiest, and wisest choice for myself?
Because your adrenals are exhausted and nervous system is fried, you may not run. This may mean avoiding fears, self-criticism, and subtle and overt negative self-talk. This may involve acknowledging your hunger and fullness signals. This may involve investigating the hunger and unmet need behind food, alcohol, or escape cravings. This may mean being kind to yourself and your situation. This may require changing your default perspective and mental habits of doom and gloom, focusing on what’s wrong and deepening disregulation. This may mean shifting and reprogram your mind to safely heal your nervous system by focusing on what’s right in this moment and in your body and how much support and resources are available. Kindly going outside to nature even if depression, low self-esteem, chronic illness, or poor body image tell you to hide behind dark curtains. This may include giving yourself time in the darkness.
Let yourself be and breathe in all you’re learning to be. No hue. But many. Allow yourself to learn a new way of being by failing. By being open to learning and experimentation.
This full moon is for asking questions without an answer. Allow your mind to imagine an unanticipated outcome. Wondering about yourself and your process. Finding humor in interaction and playing with language and thought. Reprogramming your masculine energy with words of safety, calm, soothe, and reminder. You’re safe. Drop the fight safely. Being still is safe. Dropping defenses is safe.
You. Are. Safe. Here. So find safety. Recall freedom. Let yourself become fully without making any mistakes. Even if you want to mess up. You are correct. Not a mistake. Your illness is not a mistake or oversight. You’re not a messed-up failure. You’re holy light. The most precious soul. Learning humanity. Learning to be. Human. Soul. Complex, subtle. Very sacred.
Let. Yourself. Surrender. To. The. Sacred. In. The Dual. Form. Formless. Let this reminder remind you of your goodness no matter where you are in your healing journey.
You are sacred soul.
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