Cultural norms tend to force everyone to strive and only have a single ideal partner. This one fact results in more broken and failed relationships than I care to count. The simple truth is this: Every 7 to 9 years we become a new person. Relationships are an interesting dance of shifting partners: even when being with the same person.
We are all time travelers in our relationships, jumping from past memories, future expectations and current moments of time.
In working with personal transformation, it means also working with transforming relationships to match the new realities of changing partners over time.
Upon transformation it’s normal to ask if your current relationship is flowing well or if it is time to shift the relationship. Don’t be afraid to work with change and don’t be afraid to look at the hard questions. If you cannot ask these questions within your relationship then that in itself is a clue you aren’t truly in a healthy relationship.
A classic question after transforming becomes this:
“Don’t you think it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?”
― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife
I can say there really isn’t a one size fit answer for this. For some it’s better to be happy and move on, for others the answer is to hang on tight to ok.
I will say: no relationship will make the distance if you are not being your own true self.
“Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element.”
― Audrey Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife
Answers for life are hidden all around us, in books, in songs, in memories, in mirrors, in stories… all around us. I mixed in the Time Traveler’s Wife book to illustrate this point.
Allow yourself to ask questions, to grow and to shift. Don’t be afraid to love deeply, don’t be afraid to move along with your life.
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