by Conscious Reminder
It’s tough when a parent dies and it seems that your whole life has somehow got stuck with the fact that they are gone.
In everything that you do, touch, say, hear, they keep coming back. It never gets easier, coming to terms with their absence. And as time passes, you realize that it never will.
It is one of the most harrowing days in your life to lose your parent. You realize that they will never be a piece of your world again. Each moment you spent with them comes back when you least expect it.
It is a void in your life that will forever remain as a blank space. A parent’s demise brings significant changes in your life and changes you in 7 ways:
1. A Sobering Reality
You realize for the first time how different life can be when you lose a parent. Having spent a large part of your life with them, the very realization that you are going to spend the rest of your life, walking alone, seems hard to accept.
2. They Take A Part Of You With Them
A part of you dies every time you lose a parent. As far back as memories go, they have always been your support and sustenance from your first baby-steps to what you are now. They knew you better than anyone else, including yourself and now you seem adrift.
3. Each Time Someone Mentions Their Parents, You Are Reminded Of Your Loss
It feels like a sudden stab when somebody talks about their parent. Time is never a healer. You look away in anguish and feel a pang for having not spent more time together. It tears you open and leaves you in pieces. It hits you that the intimacy of the relationship with a parent should be never be overshadowed by our professional commitments – but it’s too late now.
4. They Are Irreplaceable
You will build many bonds in your life but this is one relationship that will be irreparable. The intimacy that you shared with them, the way they patiently heard you out, all of these will never be compensated. You long to just hear that voice again and rue the times you had hurt them.
5. Every Event Seems Hollow And Without Any Charm
Every achievement will become a time to relive their absence from your life. You realize that nobody will take that intense interest in your wellbeing anymore. The biggest celebration seems bereft of any charm. Your parents were your support and now they are no more. And time does not make the loss forgettable, only bearable.
6. Walking Down Traditions
You walk down the familiar roads again as you relive the moments spent together. You hold on dearly to certain traditions they started – like having your morning tea with your family and not getting distracted by the cellphone. You dearly want to keep the shared memories alive by taking part in what you had done together.
7. Every Stone Has Its Memories
Everything that they have left behind becomes memories. They warm you up but at the same time tear you apart. Over time they become blurred and you realize that it is all for the best. We can’t be holding on to the past forever and it is our parent telling us that it is time to move on.
You try to block out the memories but they cling to you. It gradually dawns on you that your loss is irreplaceable and each passing day will only make it a little more bearable.
Someday, you will come out stronger.
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