by Bevin Niemann,
Contributing Author, Conscious Reminder
We’ve come to a time where we now have more information than ever before about psychological illness and relationship patterning.
This is mainly a good thing as it’s allowed many of us to become conscious of unhealthy dynamics. I’ve observed that it’s also birthed a whole bunch of phrases that get latched onto without much real contemplation of what’s happening.
One of these is the term ‘energy vampire’. It’s used almost exclusively by sensitive and empathic people to describe another person who latches on and is draining your energy field.
Does that happen? Absolutely.
Are empaths attracted to, and attract those people into our lives? Yes.
But only until we commit to healing that part of ourselves that gives up our power. Our inner rescuer that wants to fix and help everyone to the detriment of our own well-being. The part of us that wants to see everyone with rose-colored glasses.
Empaths can connect with a person’s soul essence. Because I believe souls are directly connected to an infinite Divine Source, we see the absolute best in everyone.
However, where we often get confused is when their surface, human behavior does not match the soul essence. Which part of them is real? Maybe I can help them fix the dysfunctional human behavior so they can come into alignment with their soul’s potential…
That kind of thinking is where the true danger lies. Believing that because we have this ability to sense energy on so many levels, that we have the power to change another.
No one will change anything about themselves unless they decide to.
If, like a moth to a flame, you engage with this person who is so incongruent, it’s inevitable your energy will be drained. For one simple reason — you are focusing your energy on their well-being and not yours.
When we use the term ‘energy vampire’, it insinuates that you were powerless against their charisma. You had no choice but to offer up your neck for the bloodletting. But you argue, what about the love bombing?
The hardest thing for us to hear is that we chose to be there.
Where we need to release our inner critic is, before we became aware of our tendency to play out this dynamic, we made those choices unconsciously. We were trying to heal a wound we didn’t even realize we had.
To release our outer critic, the other person was also trying to heal a wound they didn’t realize they had. You were mirroring each other, teaching each other.
I’m betting now you can identify more quickly when you’re allowing your energy to leak out. Your sense of discernment has been honed; your energetic boundaries have gotten stronger.
Empaths already know how to merge with others, with the Oneness. Our growth path is to learn to individuate, to be very clear where you begin and another person (or the collective energy) ends.
‘Energy vampire’ is a term that places you in the victim role — helpless and powerless against someone else’s manipulation. It may have felt like that in the moment, but you hold all the power to decide what does and what does not enter your energy field.
‘Energy vampire’ spirals you down into a fear-based mentality, that everyone around you is dangerous. Putting up walls and closing yourselves off to real, healthy connections.
And guess what, sometimes empaths can be intense too. We can be draining to others as well. It’s not just a one-way street, my friends.
It’s time to retire this unempowering term.
It’s time to own your power.
It’s time for you to choose the health of your energy field.
About the Author: Bevin Niemann is a leadership mentor & evolutionary coach for intuitive empaths, highly sensitive people and creative visionaries. Her writing has been featured on Conscious Reminder, The Mind Body Spirit Network, Spiritual Biz magazine and Experience Life! magazine. Bevin was recently the host of The Shift Network’s Evolutionary Empath Global Summit, reaching an audience of 33,000 to advocate for our sensitive way of being.
Learn more about her work at www.PerceptiveSouls.com or connect on Facebook or Instagram @perceptivesouls.
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