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Feeling miserable and lonely despite having a fulfilling job, a wonderful partner, and the life you’ve always imagined? If so, you might be experiencing paradise syndrome.
What Exactly is Paradise Syndrome?
Even though they have accomplished all their goals and dreams, people with this condition still feel unhappy and dissatisfied with themselves.
But doctors and psychologists still don’t see it as a mental illness. People who are extremely successful and rich tend to experience paradise syndrome. Mental and emotional dissatisfaction can set in for a successful person when they feel like there’s nothing else to strive for or conquer in life.
Dr. Yong Wah Goh, a psychology lecturer at the University of Southern Queensland, thinks this might be because we live in a narcissistic age. People whose expectations are too high will never be satisfied, according to Goh, because their goalposts are constantly moving.
Because of the current state of affairs, it appears that a more narcissistic attitude can flourish. Because we are always challenging ourselves to do better, our accomplishments are never satisfying. Our lives, ambitions, and ourselves take up far too much of our attention. We are capable of going to extraordinary lengths to ensure our own happiness. For Dr. Goh, “it’s me, me, me constantly” is the mantra. Their self-satisfaction will take precedence.
They prefer to surround themselves with positive people and avoid negative ones, according to Dr. Yong Wah Goh. If you have high expectations of yourself and find it difficult to relax, you may be suffering from paradise syndrome.
Understanding Paradise Syndrome
When we look at our lives, the majority of us see idealized versions of how things should be. But when there’s a difference between these two points of view, we feel a pressing need to bridge the gap so we can be satisfied. According to research done in 1974 by Watzlawick et al., this is one-way problems can arise. However, realizing that we have no purpose to pursue can be disheartening, as our minds naturally seek meaning and purpose in everything we do.
Therefore, when we don’t know who we are or what we stand for, we might find ourselves in a state of paradise syndrome. People whose sense of self is most strongly associated with their work, such as mothers, athletes, entrepreneurs, and corporate executives, are more likely to experience this.
Kim Serafini, author of I Am Gr8full for Life, believes that this syndrome typically occurs when we step back or ignore our “roles” for a while. We call this a type of leisure sickness. What she means is that “people feel it when they’re supposed to be savoring paradise… but you can’t appreciate the fact that you’re there because you feel like you’ve left you behind, which is your identity.”
Medical professionals frequently mistake leisure sickness, also known as paradise syndrome, for anxiety and stress, making it a contentious subject. “However, it is real,” Serafini states. She continues, “It exists for people who are really into ego and who are really into doing and not into being.” We fail to differentiate between our weekday selves and our authentic selves on weekends because we are too preoccupied with our imagined selves.
A Form of Existential Despair
Existential despair can set in when our expectations of ourselves and life are too high. Actually, existential despair can take many forms, and paradise syndrome is just one of them. All of this stems from the conviction that each and every one of our lives has meaning, and that, in order to find it, we must seek to comprehend it. When we come to terms with the fact that our lives do have meaning, we often use “utopian” language to describe them. As a result, it influences the tools and how they approach making changes.
Types of Paradise Syndrome
The following are the three main manifestations of Paradise Syndrome:
• Introjective
The devastating realization that we are inadequate because we were unable to accomplish a certain idealistic objective can lead to a variety of mental health problems, including withdrawal, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation and behavior. If “paradise” is the end goal, then getting there is pointless. We only succeed in beating and humiliating ourselves.
• Harmless
The second kind of paradise syndrome is more palatable and easier to understand. The idea here is to take pleasure in getting closer to an idealized end state rather than in the end state itself. This mentality was described by poets like Constantine Kavafis as that of a traveler who takes pleasure in the journey, regardless of how lengthy it may be.
• Projective
This kind of mindset develops when one has a firm conviction about owning the truth. People with this type of syndrome will do everything it takes to get others to see things as they really are, with the hope that doing so will lead to positive social and global change. The individual will attempt to convince others of their truth by utilizing a combination of hope and persuasive arguments. But sometimes they’ll get the exact opposite outcome.
Based on our unique perspectives, the majority of us hold our own truth. While it’s not always bad to voice our opinions, we should also be willing to listen to and consider other people’s realities. On the other hand, vengefulness and hostility are common reactions for people with projective paradise syndrome when they fail to persuade others to see things their way. They have a tendency to develop paranoia and think that people are actively working to undermine their beliefs and themselves.
Express gratitude
Hence, instead of chasing after an idealistic, faraway goal, we must learn to be content with what we have, recognize our achievements, and concentrate on resolving our immediate issues.
Practicing mindfulness can help us appreciate what we have, stay in the here and now, be more receptive to love, and generally improve our quality of life.
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