by Conscious Reminder
“The mind is its own place, and in itself / Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven,” — Milton
Do you feel terribly sad at times for no apparent cause? Do you feel the weight of the world on your nimble shoulders but don’t ever remember signing up for it? Do you always feel that the world is unfair and is engulfing you bit by bit whereas you stand helplessly staring at the wreckage?
You are not alone. We all have at some point in our lives thought that we’re not getting what we deserve. I’m sorry to break the news to you: the world owes you absolutely nothing.
Shocking? Let that sink in. Now for the good news: you are the one who determines your destiny and decides your dreams. Does this make you happy or awfully scared? Human beings find it a lot easier to blame someone or something else for their apparent misery. They hate to take full ownership of their action because they think their thoughts are not under their control.
They are absolutely wrong. You are the sole master of your mind and no one can enter there if you don’t give them the ticket. More often than not, circumstances are not the sole reason behind your misery but the way you choose to think. For example when someone cancels a plan, instead of looking at the logical explanation, you jump into conclusions like they hate you and you don’t deserve to be loved. You project your insecurities and fears on other people without a foundation.
Stop. If you don’t love yourself then no one else will. If you give someone the key to your happiness, they will drop it every single time. Start by taking a simple pledge: you won’t depend on anyone. Take some time and spend it alone. Do you like your company? If you see all your thoughts are negative and are making you feel overburdened, imagine how other people will feel. You have to make a conscious effort to think positively and prioritize your own happiness.
Here are some questions that you could ask yourself when you feel hurt by what someone else has said or done:
1. Do you have solid foundations to support the way you feel or are you building a mountain out of a molehill? This is important. Sometimes we assume certain things because we don’t think we deserve to be treated any better or deserve love at all. Why do you feel the way you feel? Is there any way you can talk it out with the person who hurt you? Is the person worth your emotional labor?
2. Does victimizing yourself make you more satisfied? Are you afraid of taking full control of your life and leave the shadow of your partner? Be absolutely honest with your answer as it will show you the path. Suppose that you feel your husband has shrugged off all the household responsibilities and you see that as an excuse for your incompetence? Do you dare to chase your dreams? Are you ready to pay the price?
3. Keep a journal. There is something therapeutic about recording your innermost thoughts and emotions. This way you can keep a track of the times you felt low and what is the actual reason behind it. You can never gauge what other people feel but you can always connect to your inner being. Know yourself. Know that you can at any point in your life be what you want to be.
Next time onwards don’t let your thoughts control your life and don’t let them make you feel powerless. You have only one life – live it to the fullest.
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