by Conscious Reminder
Breakups are usually painful for every person involved in them. But, when we are the one that receives the breakup, it will be even harder for us as we haven’t had the chance to make the decision.
As a result of that, we are going to interpret that breakup as our failure and feel destructive guilt too. However, we have to be aware of the fact that breakups don’t mean that we have failed.
In fact, the emptiness that we feel when a person leaves us comes from our idea that we need someone else in order to feel whole and fulfilled once again. However, that is a quite serious mistake. When we think in that way, we are giving huge responsibility to our partner. Our fulfillment will be up to us and not someone else.
When we actually start depending on others to feel satisfied and good about ourselves, we form a really wrong foundation for our relationship.
Feeling good with our partner is one thing, but depending completely on him or her in order to feel fulfilled and good is an entirely different thing. These two things may destroy the healthiest relationships too.
In order to finally create a conscious and mature relationship, we will need two whole and complete people. A relationship can’t join together two incomplete individuals. It would be like dancing the tango.
The two dancers need to know the role that they have because they cannot depend on each other when it comes to taking the following step. When they move together, there will be a harmonious and beautiful dance which will delight everyone.
Maintaining their identities will be another secret to lasting relationships between partners. They are not supposed to become other people simply because they are in a relationship.
The two of them need to always be responsible for their own actions. They may love one another genuinely and intensely, but in ways which satisfy both the most.
When we truly give our all in a relationship, we are going to feel a better connection with our partner. Moreover, our actions are going to reflect on what we were feeling and thinking.
In such cases, love become purer than ever. But, it is difficult to simply get to that point as we usually fear that our partner is going to hurt us, make fun of us, or even leave us.
In order to stop feeling afraid, we need to understand the fact that breakups aren’t the worst possible thing in this world. Breakups aren’t our biggest failures. A failure would be investing precious time in relationships which aren’t making us happy or hold us back as we are scared.
When we are authentically and fully invested in our relationship, we gave it our all, and our partner left us anyway, that does not mean that we failed. We haven’t failed as we were truly committed and involved.
Simply being in that relationship is a reward, as it was something we really wanted. We did not do it as we were scared to spend time alone. That is our win and not our failure.
We are not supposed to judge other couples on the basis of how long they were together, or if they continued together or not. If our partner has not been able to involve himself or herself in our relationship as we did, maybe he or she failed.
It may also mean that we were not compatible. Whatever the case, our value as an individual does not change. The breakup will not mean that we have failed as we did our best.
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