by Conscious Reminder
Every person in this world is programmed to desire connection and love with those people around him or her, seeking to establish a profound and meaningful relationship in his or her life.
But, the quest for finding this is much more difficult than it appears to be. We aren’t just facing all those challenges that our lives are going to throw our ways, but we also have to face every barrier that prevents love within our minds.
In fact, the biggest possible barrier to experiencing and finding true love exists within our minds. In various cases, this will manifest as being afraid of love.
We may feel afraid of the love concept altogether, avoiding considering it, and we may even find ourselves sabotaging the attempts to fall in love without realizing we do so in misguided attempts to protect ourselves.
This particular fear will cost us happiness, joy, and pleasure. And, the best possible way in which we can overcome it is to identify the reasons for our fear, and also address it.
This will not be comfortable and easy at all, but when we experience real love, it is going to be worth the pain and suffering.
These are the seven frequent reasons why we feel afraid of falling in love:
Changing our plans.
Those of us that are highly driven and organized people already developed our clear plans for how we predict our lives are going to play out. In fact, this includes our accomplishments, the ones we would like to hit on the way, and certain failsafe plans which are designed in order to overcome great challenges we believe we are going to face on the way. When a person comes in our lives, he or she will dramatically alert our predicted outcome, in that way forcing us to make changes to our plans.
Facing past pain.
When we meet a new person, and we open ourselves for a relationship, this may trigger some painful feelings coming from our past. In fact, this will include emotions which are connected to our former romantic relationship, or other relationships which had some kind of an effect on our own lives like friendships or family ties. Although these negative feelings will be difficult to face, facing them will be the only way in which we can release them.
Emotions’ roller coaster.
If we take a look at our lives in the past, we are going to see numerous examples – whenever we find happiness and joy in our lives, we will also face heartbreak and pain soon thereafter. This is a needed balance so that we can truly value all those blessings which we were given. However, this will not make things any easier. When we accept love, we also know that we are going to welcome pain at a certain point in our lives.
Love is something unpredictable.
We all witnessed numerous different relationships during our lives, and we have probably seen that love can actually be quite unpredictable. We have seen all from breakups to hookups, and vice versa, falling in or out of love, and the unbelievable effect that emotions may have on the connection we have with other people. Love is something uncontrollable.
Vulnerability.
Real love, and also the connection which comes together with it, will ask us to simply lower our inhibitions and barriers. Therefore, it will leave us vulnerable, particularly to the ones that we trust with our hearts. This will be a terrible and frightening experience for people who spent a great part of their lives highly alert, and who protected themselves from all those risks of heartbreaks.
Questioning self-worth.
In fact, if we ever questioned the value which we may bring to our relationships, we aren’t alone. When we face all those expectations that our society will place on us for “perfect relationships” together with all those critical thoughts present in our minds, it isn’t a wonder that we will wonder or feel as we fall short.
Love’s inequality.
In ideal relationships, the two partners share equal levels of affection, devotion, and dedication to each other. Unluckily, experiences are telling us that all this is usually not true. A lot of relationships are one-sided, and it will be difficult to simply live through.
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