by Frank M. Wanderer,
Contributing Author, Conscious Reminder
Image Source:unsplash.com
There is a particular quality to that moment when the seeker becomes exhausted. It’s not like simply getting tired of something and moving on to the next thing.
It’s not the fatigue of boredom or impatience. It runs deeper. Quieter. It’s as if there’s no longer anywhere left to turn, because every direction — forward, back, left, right — has led you to the same place: back to yourself.
And there, you still found nothing but the seeking itself.
In the beginning, the path is exciting. The first books, the teachers, the insights, the moments when you felt something broke through… as if you were truly getting closer.
Then come the practices. You sit in silence. You visualize, you let go; and you meditate. You try to go beyond the mind, focus on the Now, and tame the ego.
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And all of this is part of the path… but then comes a point when something deep inside begins to whisper, “Who is it that’s been doing all this? And why hasn’t it led anywhere?”
This moment — when no method is enough anymore and no teacher brings anything new — is not a failure. It’s the gate of Grace.
Because now, you no longer want to do it better. You no longer want to become someone. You no longer want to awaken. You no longer want to arrive anywhere.
And paradoxically, this is when something begins to move… not outside, but deep within — in the place where nothing had moved before.
The mind thinks something is wrong. That you’ve lost your passion. That the fire has gone out.
But Consciousness knows: you are finally beginning to arrive. Because the seeker — who always wanted to reach something — has now disappeared. And all that remains is silence.
And within that silence, there is a very strange peace. A peace you could never find while seeking. Because it cannot be attained. It only reveals itself when you stop reaching for it.
You might still resist this nothingness. You might get frightened.
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You may ask, “What now? If I’m not seeking, who am I? If I have no goal, what is the point?”
And Consciousness replies:
“Finally, you are beginning to see that it is not you who seeks Me. It is I who have always been You. And now that you have disappeared, I can be present again.”
There is something sacred about this exhaustion. Something profoundly pure. Because now, for the first time, you expect nothing from the silence.
You don’t want it to heal you. You don’t want it to enlighten you. You’re simply here, within it. And this “just being” is the most powerful breakthrough you may ever experience — even if you don’t realize it’s happening.
The exhaustion of the seeker is not a tragedy. It is the antechamber of arrival. The seeker has not failed — they have simply fallen into the hands of the one who was holding them all along.
Now is the time to see something clearly: you never had to find what you have always been. Because you were never separate from it.
This is not a new belief. Not a new insight. It is a soft resting in not-knowing. And in this not-knowing, in the space without thoughts, something begins to emerge — something that cannot be taught. Only recognized.
A silent recognition:
“I no longer need to seek. For I am what I’ve been seeking.”
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Stay with that. For a little longer. Don’t rush on. Don’t try to explain it. Don’t try to capture it. Just sit inside it, like morning dew resting on an ancient tree.
Still. Present.
For now, you are here.
Truly here.
Excerpt from Frank M. Wanderer’s new book THE TEACHING OF CONSCIOUSNESS to Those Standing at the Edge (FREE BOOK on pdf. You can download now)
About the author: Frank M. Wanderer Ph.D is a professor of psychology, a consciousness researcher and writer, and publisher of several books on consciousness . With a lifelong interest in the mystery of human existence and the work of the human mind, Frank’s work is to help others wake up from identification with our personal history and the illusory world of the forms and shapes, and to find our identity in what he calls “the Miracle”, the mystery of the Consciousness.
You can also follow his blog HERE.
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