Soul Mates. Soul Reminders. Soul Connections. We hear about it, read about it and some of us are lucky enough to experience it. We are all curious and most of us want one.
“Your soul mate makes you feel entirely intact, like no piece is missing from the puzzle. A life partner, on the other hand, can be a great supporter and long-time companion, but is limited in his or her capacity to enrich your spirit.”
~ Dr. Carmen Harra
Soul mates differ from life partners. Some people, not ever encountering a soul mate or soul connection, settle down with a life partner. These relationships can be very satisfying. They are often built on mutual trust, respect and friendship.
You see, in life, we have no control over timing and sometimes less control of circumstance. Some cannot wait forever in hopes of encountering a soul mate, so they are satisfied with a mature life-partner relationship. For some it is about survival, security or simple companionship, and the word soul mate does not resonate. The concept may seem flighty, dreamy and unrealistic. Life circumstance, timing, availability, security and many other factors may all influence our relationship choices…
… chances are if you are open, ready and blessed enough to meet a Soul Mate in this life time it will happen unanticipated and unexpected. It can feel unsettling, destabilizing and ungrounding because it is a different connection than any other you have had.
There are no words or explanations that can clearly articulate such a connection. It is a magnetic energy, an intuitive knowing and it just seems right. There is no matter of space or time, you have found your way to one another.
Actually, timing and way are quite often terrible. But when it arrives, you know. There is the “I get you feeling.” There is a flow and a rhythm that seems to be guided by something much higher. You step back to catch your breath because deep down you know this is special. This is different. This is genuine.
It is raw and it is so damn real you want to run away just to soak it up and take it in. The soul mate. The one you feel vibrate when they are a thousand miles away. The one you hear whisper when they think about you. The one who lets you move freely but embraces your shadow from afar. That one. The one you feel like you have known for a million years.
When you finally settle into the Wow, you see the beauty, the rarity, and eventually the clarity. You know it is real, a keeper. Sometimes as a friend, other times a lover. Sometimes transient, other times permanent.
These beautiful soul reminders may too, just pop into our lives temporarily to remind us of what we have been forgetting; our writing, singing, creating, imagining, dancing or living. They light the spark. They get the fire going. They are the gentle nudge. Sometimes they stay, and other times move on. But they usually leave you appreciative and often breathless. They remind us to be alive, vibrant and hopeful.
“Have you ever met someone for the first time, but in your heart you feel as if you have met them before?”
~ Joanne Kenrick, When a Mullo Loves a Woman
“We were not making love, we did not even kiss, but the inexplicable intimacy we shared left us wordlessly and hopelessly locked into each other’s gaze.”
~ Jasmine Dubroff
There is a catch to encountering these deep connections. Before you can go to this depth and even be brave enough to notice it, you first must love yourself. Because when you have love times a million for yourself, it comes naturally and effortlessly, transforming through you and transfixing to another who too loves themselves and are ready and open for depth.
Intimacy requires an open-heart. Looking, searching, praying, visualizing and meditating does not bring a soul mate. I do not believe they can be summoned. No one can be your other half or fill your cup but you. Sure, a soul mate can remind, inspire and certainly enhance your life, but no one can be your happiness… but you. Although, one can be prepared.
Do your work. Love and nourish yourself. Fill your own soul and fuel your own fire. And then when, and if, they do come along, you are ready to sizzle.
“Don’t worry about finding your soul mate. Find yourself.” ~ Jason Evert
Feeling curious? Read on and without over-analyzing, ask yourself: soul mate or life partner?
The 10 Elements of a Soul Mate (according to Dr. Carmen Harra)
1. It’s something inside. Describing how a soul mate makes you feel is difficult. It’s a tenacious, profound and lingering emotion which no words can encompass.
2. Flashbacks. If your partner is your soul mate, chances are he or she has been present in your past lives. You might even feel an odd sense of déjà vu, as if the moment in time has already taken place, perhaps a long time ago, perhaps in a different setting.
3. You just get each other. Ever met two people who finish each others sentences? Some people call that spending too much time together, but I call it a soul mate connection. You might experience this with your best friend or your mother, but it is the telltale sign of a soul mate when you experience it with your partner.
4. You fall in love with his (or her) flaws. No relationship is perfect, and even soul mate relationships will experience ups and downs. Still, that bond will be much harder to break. Soul mates have an easier time of accepting, even learning to love, each others imperfections.
5. It’s intense. A soul mate relationship may be more intense than normal relationships, in both good and sometimes bad ways. The most important thing is that, even during negative episodes, you’re focused on resolving the problem and can see beyond the bad moment.
6. You two against the world. Soul mates often see their relationship as us against the world. They feel so linked together that they’re ready and willing to take on any feat of life, so long as they have their soul mate by their side.
7. You’re mentally inseparable. Soul mates often have a mental connection similar to twins. They might pick up the phone to call each other at the exact same time. Though life may keep you apart at times, your minds will always be in tune if you are soul mates.
8. You feel secure and protected. Regardless of the gender of your partner, he or she should always make you feel secure and protected. Your soul mate will make you feel like you have a guardian angel by your side. A person who plays on your insecurities, whether consciously or subconsciously, is not your soul mate.
9. You can’t imagine your life without him (or her). A soul mate is not someone you can walk away from that easily. It is someone you can’t imagine being without, a person you believe is worth sticking with and fighting for.
10. You look each other in the eye. Soul mates have a tendency to look into each others eyes when speaking more often than ordinary couples. It comes naturally from the deep-seated connection between them. Looking a person in the eye when speaking denotes a high level of comfort and confidence.
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