WHEN YOU BOTH MET, THE TANTALIZING HEAT AND MAGNETIC CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU WAS INTENSE AND MAGICAL.
Life felt bright, invigorating, and paradisiacal. It was as if nothing, and no one else, existed in the world but you and your partner.
Fast forward five, ten, twenty or more years. Both of you feel tired and burdened by your responsibilities. Perhaps you have children, busy jobs, compacted timetables or other concerns to deal with.
You don’t know why … but something feels lacking. The spark in your relationship has dimmed. Maybe you’re even struggling to find a sense of connection with your partner and are wondering “what went wrong”?
Life has a way of bringing us back to reality sooner or later. As demands, stresses, obligations, and duties arise, it can be difficult to maintain a deep spiritual connection with our partners.
WHAT IS A SPIRITUAL CONNECTION?
A spiritual connection is basically a deep affinity felt between two people. This deep closeness goes beyond superficial personality traits, likes, dislikes or shared interests. Instead, a spiritual connection is about sharing the same fundamental values, beliefs, life goals, and dreams as the other. Two people who share a spiritual connection will meet each other on the same vibrational wavelength and will be able to share everything with each other.
Spiritually connected couples often share the following traits:
- Empathetic listening
- Mutual respect
- Gratitude for each other
- Authentic interaction
- Open communication
- Meaningful conversations
- Intimate sex
- Unconditional love
Spiritual connection is more than just about playing the role of “wife/husband,” “girlfriend/boyfriend,” “wife/wife” and so forth. Rather, spiritual connection in relationships is about meeting at an intimate and raw Soul level.
THE CYCLICAL NATURE OF LOVE
No relationship ever remains the same because the nature of life is constant, moment-to-moment change. One minute you will be passionately engaged with each other, and the next, you will both be distant. It’s important to remember that it’s totally normal to experience these fluctuations in your relationship. In fact, you might even notice that your connection with your partner is cyclical, meaning that it follows a circular pattern of change.
For example, one period of time you might share a lot of deep conversations, followed by quietly sharing each other’s presence, followed by a feeling of isolated distance. And this cycle may repeat itself many times. The same can be said for sex. You might go through a period of intense passion, followed by playful exploration, then followed by routinary intercourse.
It’s healthy to experience these fluctuations. In fact, not experiencing these cyclical changes would be very concerning indeed. Not experiencing these fluctuations would signify that one or both of you are clinging to the past and forcing the relationship to be a certain way. On the other hand, a lack of growth and change would signify relationship stagnation. Stagnation can happen for many reasons, but the most common causes are resentment, abuse or “outgrowing” the current relationship.
9 WAYS TO CREATE A SPIRITUAL CONNECTION WITH YOUR PARTNER
Creating a spiritual connection with your partner isn’t about indoctrinating them into believing what you believe or liking what you like. Nor is creating a spiritual connection about changing the other person to be more “spiritual.” Both of these approaches are immature and damaging to your relationship.
Instead, creating a spiritual connection is about deepening the Soul contact between the two of you. Spiritual connection is about becoming vulnerable, engaged, attentive, open, and receptiveto the other person.
Here are some recommendations:
1. GIVE MORE EYE CONTACT
One of the saddest things I often see are couples that no longer give each other eye contact. These couples communicate with each other, often stringing out whole conversations without so much as a glance at the other.
Eye contact is extremely intimate. When you give your partner eye contact, you are basically showing them that you are interested and deeply engaged in what they’re saying. Eye contact is not only a sign of respect, it is the best way to connect with another person’s Soul. Have you ever heard of “soul gazing”? Soul gazing is based on the premise that you can bathe in the waters of another person’s Soul through gazing into their eyes.
2. SET ASIDE “US TIME” EACH DAY
Sometimes life is just too damn busy to have the energy to maintain a relationship. One of the easiest things you can do is setting aside time each day out of your busy schedule to exclusively sit with your partner. Even sitting together in each other’s arms on the couch watching a movie is a good way to begin deepening your spiritual connection.
3. EXPLORE WHAT SPIRITUAL LESSONS YOUR PARTNER IS TEACHING YOU
Even if not done consciously, your partner’s behavior, words, and thoughts can teach you a lot. Having a spiritual connection is about learning how to spiritually grow in your partnership. What is your partner teaching you? Remember, our partners often see our “blind spots” and so can reveal a lot to us about ourselves, even unintentionally.
4. TOUCH MORE
Physical touch is an immensely important element of creating a spiritual connection. The subtle energy exchanged through touch is very binding in that it helps to create a deeper affinity with your partner. Physical touch is soothing, comforting, and can often express much more than words can.
5. HAVE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS
What is in your heart? What means a lot to you that you want to share with someone? What epiphanies have you had? Start a conversation with your loved one. I like to have meaningful conversations with Luna during our morning walks. Share whatever is on your mind and find a regular place and time to do that.
6. FIND WAYS TO LAUGH TOGETHER
Laughter opens the heart and deepens your spiritual connection immediately. Learn how to laugh at yourself, your partner, and together with each other, in a light-hearted way. Even simply watching funny videos together can deepen your bond.
7. OPENLY COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS
Most disconnected relationships lack open communication. Open communication is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings honestly while respecting the other person. Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg calls this “non-violent communication” (I recommend that you read his book for more guidance). When you feel hurt, angry, isolated, or any other emotion, express that to them. Not even your partner can read your mind, so don’t make that assumption. Openly communicating how you feel is the cornerstone of an honest relationship based on mutual caring, respect, and love.
8. PRACTICE SELF-LOVE
It’s true: without truly loving and embracing yourself as you are, you will struggle to unconditionally love your partner. Instead, you will impose endless expectations, demands, and beliefs on them surrounding who they “should” be and how they “should” act. By practicing self-love, and accepting all the light and darkness within you, you will deepen your spiritual connection with your partner. True change comes from within, so if you want your relationship to become richer, you need to make your relationship with yourself richer.
9. FORGIVE PAST HURTS
Holding onto grudges and mental “tallies” of wrongdoings is a surefire way to sully any relationship. The more you hold onto grievances, the more isolated and distant you will feel from your partner. If you tend to hold grudges, try to make space for yourself to let go and open your heart to forgiveness. Most likely, you may need to openly communicate how you feel to your partner in a respectful and non-violent manner to seek closure.