Is Loneliness Caused By Traumatic Childhood?

by Conscious Reminder

It’s  widely said that those who suffer from acute loneliness turn out to be victims of childhood trauma that haunt them all throughout their lives.

Therefore it creates problems when they get involved with others as it prevents them from opening up and forming meaningful relationships.

As we progress and become technologically advanced, it’s becoming even more troublesome for human beings to interact with each other. It’s far worse for people who have been affected by childhood trauma and they find it even more difficult to form connections.

We never really understand how deeply childhood traumatic incidents can harm a person and that it can last forever. Even the most minor things can have a huge impact on a person’s psyche. The issue depends on a lot of factors like family support, period of trauma, intensity of trauma and several others.

Decades of research and experience of psychotherapists and doctors show that those who have undergone prolonged period of trauma and torture undergo severe problems when it comes to interacting and connecting with other people and getting into relationships.

They have trust issues and are so scared of being open and vulnerable that they cannot truly be themselves and let themselves enjoy around other people. Often when they do manage to be with someone, it’s based on a lot of secrets and lies that ultimately create more damage than good.

Childhood trauma can arise from a number of sources. It can be caused by mistreatment by parents, excess criticism, getting exploited, various kinds of torture and assault, suppressed by fear or unhealthy living situation and many more. Sometimes children with parents who are suffering from addiction also suffer a lot of trauma that scars them for life.

Despite the different reasons behind trauma, the most primary cause that is common to all of them is the fact that these affected children lacked a proper family upbringing and a healthy home atmosphere for them to be free and develop properly. The insecurity and weakness that arises due to this makes them prone to torture and thus create brutal damage to their mental health which take years to heal.

People who are mentally stable are much more comfortable in hanging out with others. We hit it off with other people based on common interests and preferences and make connections. However victims of trauma feel that people only want to take advantage of them or dominate them. They feel people will like them only if they do whatever they are asked to do.

After all the pain they have been through, it’s very hard for these people to open up and enjoy themselves. They want to have a normal happy life but they can never get out of their shell. The years of mistreatment and loveless life have convinced them that they don’t deserve happiness or love and will never find the good things in life.

They believe that no one will ever love them. Moreover they are so scared of trusting someone and then ending up getting betrayed or manipulated that they don’t even try to live for themselves. They act out in front of others which instigates others and make their fears come true.

Lacking love, care and support while growing up they expect these from their relationships which lead to a lot of problems, mainly being mistreated or abused.

They suffer from social anxiety and stay away from people or crowds. Having been always exposed to abuse, they internalize it. It takes a lot of time and patience to coax them out of their shell. Human interaction is very important. Don’t let that fade away.


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