by Conscious Reminder
We can be vulnerable with our romantic partners in a way which several people in our life will ever see. We share our intimate secrets, or we also dare to believe them.
When we discover that our partner had an affair, we may feel it like a gut-wrenching betrayal.
Most of us tend to end up our relationships right after we discover that our partner was cheating on us. However, for those of us that decide to keep those cheaters in our life, can we ever believe them again?
From a psychological point of view, this answer is dependent on a few factors.
Why our partner cheated on us?
According to the author of Surprised by Love: One Couple’s Journey from Infidelity to True Love and Ph.D. named Jay Kent-Ferraro, one good indicator to understand the following step when it comes to a broken relationship, would be what caused our partner to cheat on us.
The reasons for that can be pathological. The cheater can be addicted to companionship, narcissistic and sociopath. Some other motivations could be vindictive, right as in revenge, passive aggression, and purposeful sabotage, as there are some other reasons for ending a relationship.
Usually, the reason why our partner cheated on us, is not as evil. In fact, there can be underestimated but also fleeting moments, such as when a partner has a so-called midlife crisis and when he or she has been attracted in a happy relationship.
Maybe our partner cheated on us as she or he suffered from mental health issues and used a boost of attention from a new person rather than addressing them.
So, when the cause of cheating is connected with the problems in our relationship, there are chances that our relationship is actually doomed.
Still, when the reason is related to personal issues, addressing the problems of our partner may mean we can rebuild trust once again.
After the cheating
It will be important to take our time to process our feelings as we are the victim of infidelity. Then, if our partner wants to try once again, how he or she acts at the time of the aftermath will be an excellent indicator of success in the relationship.
According to a relationship expert and psychologists, there are a few telltale signs which indicate that our relationship still has some hope.
One of those signs will be that our partner sincerely regrets cheating on us and makes himself or herself responsible for it. He or she will also cut off every contact with us as they cheated on us.
The cheater will be truly honest when it comes to some problems that he or she has, or problems with our relationship, or what both of us need to go forward.
According to the author of a few books on physical addiction and infidelity, named Robert Weiss, rigorous honesty will be the single way of restoring the trust after the affair.
Unless the one that is victim feels quite comfortable once again, the cheater has to be open always.
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