by Conscious Reminder
Every person in the world had someone that he or she loved, that someone had a really harmful behavior, constantly frustrating others around them.
We have all faced and experienced such consequences, as we had to deal with such type of individual.
In the beginning, we think that he or she is not that type of person, or that they are having a terrible day. After that, however, they turn that into their habit, so we cannot pretend that there is nothing happening. That’s why we decide to help them in some way.
However, after a certain time period, we realize that regardless of what we do, we can’t change the behavior of these individuals.
We hope that our solutions might be efficient, or they might even accept our advice, but as time passes, their condition worsens. We are trying hard, but in the end, we become exhausted and frustrated.
It will hurt us when we are rejected, and it is going to drive us mad simultaneously.
Well, here is the thing. We really care about our loved ones, that is okay, but we need to understand something. We cannot fix or change people.
Regardless of the fact if that person is our parent, friend, or sibling or partner, we need to understand that he or she is not a machine, but a human being.
He or she doesn’t have a button for a restart. Sometimes, they will need something more than only a piece of advice, in order to make them move forward.
What we can actually do for them is show them our love, as we will give them the needed space to grow and evolve all alone, and even change themselves.
However, this also requires a lot of tolerance and patience. There will be a lot of unpleasant confrontations or unsuccessful interactions.
We will stop searching for the possible solutions, or analyze the things as they are, because every our attempt to aid them is always going to be met with resistance, and it will be pointless too.
As time passes, we will realize that from everything that we did for them, we never listened to them and what they had on their mind. We always blamed them for something they did, without asking them how they feel. We will forget that our ability to be there when they need us may really change everything.
So, then, we will do that. We will be right, and we will fail terribly. Our loved one will have huge pain accumulated right in his or her heart, and we will realize that he or she never needed our advice and that they never asked us to give them advice.
We will understand that everything they really wanted was someone to listen to them and their story, and they wanted their voice to be heard.
Such experiences will open our eyes and help us learn valuable life lessons. We should not blame our loved ones for everything they did. No matter of our sincere wish to help them, sometimes it will be much better if we say less or do less, but listen more.
Well, in most of the cases, they only want someone to hear to their story, and be present or pay more attention to everything they need to say, and nothing else.
This means that regardless of what we do, we should try to understand the situation in which they are and also realize that small things will be more helpful than our advice. We have sincere and good intentions, but sometimes we need to put their emotions before ours.
But, this will not mean that we approve their harmful behavior; it will actually mean that we understand their feelings.
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