When you decide to leave a person, whether he or she is toxic one or not, it may be hard to cut every tie which should be cut. Although you will be far away from him or her, they may still be everything that actually is on your mind.
Whether someone hurts us or not, will not change all those feelings we feel for them. For example, we can love a person that did something terrible to us, while we can hate a person that did nice things to us.
That is how things go. Leaving a person we can’t be with will probably be a tough thing which we need to do in our life.
However, here are the twelve ways to start detaching ourselves from a person we can’t be with:
1. Give Yourself time to be sad about something that could have happened but never did.
Although it seems silly to feel sad about a relationship we never had, it is beneficial. When we permit ourselves to feel everything we really feel, we will have the ability to heal faster than usual.
2. Find something you are passionate about.
Literally force yourself to get out and have fun. We can find something we would love to do. Life is short, so we should not spend it crying for someone that lives her or his life.
3. We should put ourselves out there, and look for more.
Although we may not want to go anywhere or do anything, putting ourselves out there will help us tremendously. We should find a person to spend our time with. We can even fall more than we have ever imagined we would.
4. We should forgive ourselves and others for a specific situation.
We are not supposed to hold negative feelings for ourselves or others. There will be something that will not work or could not be, but it does not mean that we should hate each other. We should let go of the anger that was burning inside us.
5. We should distance ourselves from that person.
Distance can sometimes be the best option for such situations. In order to stop completely having feelings, cutting ties will be the best possible option. We should limit the interactions we have with this person and see what works best for us.
6. We should talk about the things through when we feel it’s needed.
This is not something easy, but there will be times that it will be needed, and that depends on the situation in which we are. When we want to finish something, we should sit down with the person and talk the things out.
7. We should work on how to let go of fantasies.
When the situation actually is one created by ourselves, letting go of our fantasies would be the best option. The person we are with might not even be who we thought she or he is. We have to be realistic.
8. Lean on our support system.
Our family and friends will be there when we need them. Regardless of how we feel when we talk about it, they are going to be there to hear us out. Sometimes, telling everything that lies on our chest is going to benefit us for good.
9. We should remind ourselves that everything takes time.
In fact, this isn’t something which we can or are going to get over in only several days. We will need time in order to heal our heart even when the relationship was never such, to start with. We will certainly not feel better in just a few days.
10. We should write everything down and destroy it after.
We can write down our feelings and put everything on paper. Then, we should burn it. In fact, this is going to allow us to open ourselves up without even creating any tension. It is also going to feel silly; however, it will make a huge difference.
11. We should focus on loving ourselves and provide ourselves with better self-care.
We are important more than we realize and we have to ensure we are taking proper care of ourselves. We should work on doing what we have to do in order to feel better and on loving ourselves too. Our wellbeing is also important; we should never forget that.
12. We should leave the past in the past.
We should think about our past and accommodate it. Of course, we can have certain memories with the person, but that person is not the one that we will spend our life with. In fact, our future probably holds much more for us, and we have to be prepared for it.
Via Soul Tavel Rules
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