How Not To Be Codependent In A Relationship

by Conscious Reminder

When talking about some bad habits present in relationships, codependency may be a quite tricky subject.

When thinking about two people who are codependent, we probably imagine two people in a relationship that cannot function without each other or cannot stand to constantly be apart. Codependency can rear its own head in additional subtle ways too.

Here are the 5 codependent habits we have to be conscious of and simply try to stop doing them:

Not having the ability to communicate.

There is nothing in this world that can end a relationship in a more effective way than breakdowns in communication. A relationship takes work, and there are times when we just need to let things we do not like happen to maintain that relationship. That might be said to be codependent too.

We should and can talk about everything that bothers us. Although those things will be small, we can still show our feelings. Maybe the problem will be solved, maybe not. The most important thing is that we have communicated.

No respecting limits.

When people in relationships have actually communicated that one of them doesn’t mind if the other brushes his or her teeth while the first one uses the toilet that is totally cool. That is good for them. However, as society is putting pressure on people to remove their barriers, this may lead to certain codependent habits.

Giving up our personal boundaries in order to make our relationships into something that someone else said they have to be isn’t something normal. When we need our alone time in our bathroom, we should require it. We should give one another space and never cross the boundaries only because we feel like we are supposed to do that.

Doing something more than our share.

For instance, when one of us two works, while the other one stays at home, the one that stays at home will definitely do more laundry and dishes than the one that works. But, there are various parts of one relationship where two people have to meet one another halfway. This, in fact, includes things such as splitting expenses and intimacy.

When we find ourselves doing a lot more than our fair share of the work in our relationship, we should step back, in order to reflect on the situation for some time. We should communicate about our needs and wants when talking about the work’s distribution in our relationship.

Desperate needs for approval.

In fact, this is probably the most quintessential aspect of codependent relationships. When we love a person, we want his or her approval and adoration. However, we are not supposed to need his or her adoration and approval. It is going to come naturally when we bet the person that we are.

However, when pushing it, it will come off as a pretty unattractive and a desperate thing. We should remove this kind of codependent habit in order to improve our relationship.

Being controlling.

In fact, when we enter in a relationship, we are entering in an agreement which says that we are going to take our partner’s needs and wants into consideration, right when issuing out our own.

Also, when we are with a person, we cannot do everything we want everywhere we want. Our partner can’t do that too. However, on the other side, trying and controlling what happens in our relationship will be a codependent type of habit.

We should realize that we have our life and our partner has his or her life. There will be terms we agree on, such as cohabitation and monogamy, but we cannot try controlling every single thing that our partner makes.

Image credit: Online For Love

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