Why You Shouldn’t Be A Crutch Through Life For The People You Love

By Conscious Reminder

We must have all heard this adage- God helps those who help themselves. In the current generation, we feel quite indebted to everyone around us- a desire to be empathetic to their conditions.

And while empathy is good, there is always an end line that needs to be drawn. Understandable that we, as a society, always feel the need to help others- must be a design in our genes. Interestingly, this is not something we should do.

Of course, we are not going to tell you not to help anyone you come across. Kindness is still a virtue- and nothing says a better deed than random acts of kindness. And yet, there is always the other side to it- one that will tell you that helping others without them asking for it can be perilous.

Here are some reasons/conditions which should make you hesitate before giving out unsolicited advice.

1. Never Do It For Free

You must have heard- if you are good at something, don’t do it for free. There will always be people around you who would be looking forward to gaining inspiration from you. And while that inherently is not a wrong thing to believe in, it can quickly turn toxic. People need to respect boundaries and the value of time.

If you are asked for advice on things that would really profit the other person, the least that person should do is make you a part of the process. Else, it is just you offering advice to people and getting nothing in return. Helping others is definitely a good thing to do- but not at the cost of your own welfare.

2. Don’t Help Those Who Are Callous About It

A ‘Thank You’ goes a long way. If someone is ungrateful to you for the things you have done for them, don’t help them. For, they will never understand or value the efforts you have put in for them. You sacrifice your time and your energy to help them out-and yet, it is your own self-esteem that takes a hit in the end. Why would you want to go through that again?

There are times when your client is not going to like what you tell them- do you still want to follow through? We understand- there will be occasions when you would want to help someone, but they wouldn’t want to take your help. In such a situation, don’t go out of your way to help that person out. You are better than that.

3. Don’t Help If You Can’t Give Your All

If you are helping someone, make sure that you are giving your all to that. If you don’t find the time to do it, or if you have other responsibilities, be upfront about it. This is much better than you making a mess out of something the other person really needs. If you can’t put in your everything when you are helping someone, don’t help. You will end up doing more harm than good.

Remember, relationships break when people can’t put their money where their mouth is. If you are committing to something- do it. If you don’t think you can pull it off, let it go.

Humans have an innate need to help people when we see them in distress. But sometimes, you need to pace yourself, for your help might not be appreciated, or even wanted, by the person in question.

Wait for them to ask you for it, and see if the help required infringes on your personal space. Don’t go out on a limb.   

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