5 Reasons to Forgive Your Parents for Their Toxic Behavior

by Conscious Reminder

As we become older, we frequently come to understand that our parents instilled in us the traits we dislike about ourselves.

No matter who you are or where you’re from, you’ve experienced toxic behavior from your parents, and when we reach adulthood, we have a tendency to continue to blame them.

However, there are a number of reasons to forgive your parents for their toxic behavior, and you can make the necessary changes in your life by reading on to learn more.

1. They Meant Well

Always remember that your parents meant well, regardless of how you feel about their behavior. There is no manual for how to be a parent, and unfortunately, they were learning on the job. For many children who were the victims of toxic behavior, this realization does not crystallize until they become parents themselves.

Once someone becomes a parent to their own children, they become much more understanding of how hard their parents tried to do right by them. No matter your opinion of your parents’ toxic behavior, they meant well and wanted what was best for you, even if they were inexperienced.

2. Inner Peace

When we refuse to forgive people, we are only hurting ourselves over the long haul, whether they are our parents or not. Holding a grudge is not beneficial to our mental state, and the concept of continuing to harbor hurt and resentment as we grow older is akin to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to pass away.

Therefore, refusing to forgive your parents will hurt you more than them. Refusing to forgive is essentially the same as embracing the ill will inside of you, and when we do this, our minds are no longer able to remain at ease. By the end, forgiving your parents benefits you more than them.

3. Maintaining Relationships

As anyone who has experienced family-related drama in the past can tell you, once one of your relationships with a family member has been compromised, the choosing of sides begins, and a great deal of collateral damage is done. The situation forces every family member to voice their opinion, leading to the destruction of additional relationships.

No matter how you feel about your parents, they raised you and supported you in hard times. Forgiving them for their toxic behavior not only restores these important relationships, but it also keeps the rest of the family by picking sides, bringing everyone closer together.

4. Setting the Proper Example

If you have children of your own and have yet to fully forgive your parents for their toxic behavior, guess what? Your children are far more perceptive than you realize, and they will definitely take notice of your behavior, internalizing it and using it as an example to guide their own decision-making.

After all, how can you look at your children and tell them to forgive and forget in good conscience when you know that you are not practicing what you preach? It is up to you to set the proper example by demonstrating the true power of forgiveness.

5. Life Is Too Short

While this reason may seem cliché to some, the popularity of cliched advice stems from its inherent truthfulness. Let’s imagine you make the decision to remain steadfast and never communicate with your parents in the future, or you choose to covertly carry hurt and resentment when you do.

All this does is cause you to feel increased amounts of guilt and anger. Tomorrow is far from guaranteed to any of us, and if your parents were to pass away tomorrow, the last thing you would want is to live the rest of your life wondering, “What if I had picked up the phone and made an effort to reconcile?” and regretting your decision more and more each day.

As you can see, there are many reasons to forgive our parents for their parenting mistakes. Holding onto the past has never been good for anyone, but by letting go of any anger and sadness that we have in our hearts, we can move forward amicably and start to forget the things that we went through as children.