by Conscious Reminder
Every single one of us has loved and most of us have many times, loved in vain.
As unfortunate and sad it is, the truth is just because we love someone doesn’t mean that they will love us back. And this one-sided love can be very hard to ignore. We start feeling that we are somehow responsible for the other person not loving us back.
But the fact is, our personality, our job and every other thing that we believe is not in our favor, is not the only obstacle in our pursuit of love. Sometimes, some things can just never be. And we need to learn to live with that.
It is easier to move on when this unrequited love was for some stranger and out of sight and out of mind actually helps you heal. But what do you do when the object of your one-sided love is a colleague or worse, a close friend.
How do you deal with your feelings of dejection before you can move on and still save your friendship?
Here are 7 tips on how to move on from unrequited love and find peace and happiness.
1. Allow yourself to mourn before you move on:
Acknowledge that you have suffered the loss of something which you were really hoping for. Nobody bounces back from something like this immediately so don’t try to pretend that it doesn’t matter. Allow yourself to grieve for it, it is ok to experience sadness and perhaps even anger, but the correct way to deal with these emotions is to allow them to vent rather than suppressing them.
2. Take your attention off the topic:
Once you know that you are stuck with one sided love, it is advisable that you try to forget about it as soon as possible. Not moving on is not fair to either you or the other person. So try distracting yourself. Finally finish that book you have been meaning to for a long time. Go for that run. Do whatever that takes your mind out of it in a healthy way.
3. Try reaching out for support:
Just because your love is not reciprocated from that one person doesn’t mean you don’t have the love and support of the rest of your friends and family. Ask them for help if you need it or just have a long chat about completely unrelated things. Being with them will help you move on faster.
4. Before you love anyone else, learn to love yourself:
And the most important thing is that you learn to love yourself first. Pamper yourself and take time off to do things that you love. Give yourself a free pass on what you would like to eat and like to do.
5. Try to empathize with their pain as well:
It is easy to resent the other person for not feeling the same way about you, and it might even be easy to cope with your feelings when you have somewhere to put the blame. But it is not easy for them as well. When something like this happens it does not leave anyone unaffected.
6. Maintain a safe distance:
In such situations it is a good idea to take some time off for yourself. If seeing them causes you discomfort then it is perfectly acceptable to keep your distance.
7. Focus more on other, bigger goals:
Most important of all, realize that this is not the end of the world. You have much bigger concerns in your life and now is as good a time as many to start focusing on them. Focus on them and everything else will fall into place as well.
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