Often, we are disappointed in life just because reality does not match our expectations.
Then, we start getting angry at others and feeling sorry for our unfortunate lives. But why?
Because we didn’t get what we expected. As a rule, we immediately strive to spill our anger all over the person who, in our opinion, failed to meet those expectations.
We assume they can read thoughts, so they have an idea of what to do in any situation.
As it turns out, they didn’t actually do that. They simply didn’t have any idea about it. Or they do, but under their own terms and conditions, and that’s what triggers our anger.
So this is a bad person, right?
Because everyone should think the way you do! Isn’t that right?
No, it’s not like that—or, at least, it shouldn’t be like that.
It turns out that we are all different. We have different notions about relationships, behavior, the good and the bad, about duty and necessity.
The thought that our perspective is the only correct one and everyone should think similarly to us only creates a series of disappointments and bad feelings.
Therefore, if our expectations are not met and we feel disappointed, it is very likely that we have been fooling ourselves by living an illusion. We created a world that doesn’t really exist.
Therefore, in order to protect ourselves from unpleasant emotions, we just need to clarify, while interacting with other people, what it is that raises suspicion, revolt, and bad feelings in us.
Often, a person who uses this simple technique reveals many new things about themselves and others.
Over time, it helps them realize that others also have the right to their own opinions, which may be different.
You need to talk openly about your expectations and desires. So at least you will have the opportunity to find out if a person can give you what you are counting on, instead of staying frustrated with them for weeks because they failed to read your thoughts.
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