by Alison Nappi,
Contributing Author, Conscious Reminder
They may call you ‘selfish’ but they have no idea what the self actually is. They have not yet plunged into its fathomless depths.” ~Jeff Foster
When Empaths have identified and intend clearly to set and reinforce the boundaries necessary for our own well-being, sometimes we are accused of being selfish or self-centered. This is just another party’s way of demanding we meet their needs instead of or before our own.
When we rightfully refuse to do this, the other party may lash out at us, telling us we are flawed and that our needs are less important than theirs are.
They may accuse us of selfishness, intending to imply that focusing on our own well-being is a character flaw.
Ironically, these are the same people who are containing a vacuous space where they have not found themselves.
In the absence of presence, they are demanding the feel-good presence of YOU to make them feel better. To make them feel more whole.
Like a bump of cocaine, they will always want another hit. It will never be enough. This is not the Empath’s responsibility. We are not a drug to be used as a replacement for the journey we are all required to take. We call it life.
Breaking the patterns that create continuation of the original patterning that has harmed us so much is crucial to our well-being. Identifying them is our job.
As we come into the power we earn by coming to know the self beneath all the others we have carried, protecting that precious being is our holy duty.
Protecting others from their own feelings is impossible in objective reality, and rescuing them is a codependent act that has no valor when it requires us to throw ourselves under the bus to do it.
It serves no one to sacrifice for a capable party who is unwilling to do what we are attempting to do. Find and become more present with their own inner selves, so they can be self-ish too.
Such persons are vampiric forces in our lives, and we have to learn to release our attachment to the opinions of those who would use us, abuse us, or just remain ignorant and uncaring about our needs while demanding we meet theirs.
For an Empath to achieve self-ishness is a revolutionary and liberating phase of growth for those of us whose ability to perceive self-and-other was disrupted at such an early age that we may have become atypically wired at a neurological level.
Empaths have the right and the duty to themselves and their gifts to create and protect healthy structures that give us the room we need to heal, process, and understand our natures, work, and our own well-being.
Invoking the Creative Principle that allows us to build lives that are more manageable, prosperous, fulfilling, and joyful means we have to stop letting disruptive influences constantly scatter our energy, focus, and commitment to the wind with emotional and sensational distractions.
Empaths: Insist on your well-being. Command the room you need to become self-ish. And once you find that, do not let it get lost in the sea of lost children.
You cannot mother them all. They also have selves that will do that for them, but they have to take their journeys too. Let them.
You have been all the others long enough.
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