The chemistry is strong, you feel you connect. Now you start to get really excited … could this be it? Then something changes.
Guys are programmed to love the chase. They get a rush any time a new woman finds them attractive, funny, smart, and irresistible. They do everything they can just to prove to themselves that they can get the girl.
But once she shows interest and he actually gets her, he doesn’t have anything to prove anymore. His fear of commitment kicks in and his first instinct is to run. So he moves onto the next conquest so he can get that ego boost again by pursuing someone new.
Guys who need the ego boost of a new conquest are insecure. They lose interest when a girl shows interest because on some level they feel unworthy. They need to go chase after another girl to feel worthy again.
I know a guy who once told me that any time a girl he liked started to like him back, he’d think there had to be something wrong with her if she liked him. His insecurity about himself made him lose interest in any girl who actually liked him because he didn’t feel worthy of her liking him in the first place.
Guys who fit into this category are emotionally unavailable and were never interested in being in a relationship in the first place. So how can you avoid these kinds of guys and attract more secure men with substance who are actually looking for relationships?
Don’t fall for it when a guy feeds you a bunch of lines and comes on really strong on the first few dates. Confident guys with substance don’t need to do this. Instead, look for the guy who’s more discerning. A guy who’s really serious about being in a relationship won’t show his feelings until after he’s gotten to know you and decided you are the one for him.
How To Build Attraction
You want to build up enough attraction in the early stages of the relationship so he feels strongly enough about you to commit to you on his own accord. When it’s his choice to commit to you, then you’ve really got him.
So how do you build the attraction? Guys fall in love based on how they feel around a woman. If you’re constantly texting him to find out where he is, or pressuring him by asking him where the relationship is going, he’s not going to feel good around you.
Be confident, playful, and self-assured. Have fun. Laugh. Go with the flow. Make him feel good around you in the present moment so that he wants to spend his future with you.
Be the best version of yourself. The version of you where you’re just doing your thing, chilling with friends, and having fun. Don’t be the crazy, insecure version of yourself who’s constantly wondering if you’re good enough for him.
Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. If you’re feeling insecure because he hasn’t called, go out and have fun with your friends. Don’t let him know you’re insecure about it. Make him work for you.
If you think too far ahead into the future and get too serious too soon, it can scare him off.
If he loses interest and pulls away, let him. Keep it drama free. Recognize that you can’t force him to be interested in you. If he’s the right guy for you, he’ll realize what he’s missing out on and he’ll feel safe enough to come back because he knows you aren’t pushing him into anything.
Superficial Thing That Made Guys Lose Interest
“She would put herself and other women down constantly. It was like she was the most insecure person and wanted everyone else to be insecure. She was really not worth the trouble.”
“She had this narrative, this weird delusion of herself as a sort of NYC boss-bitch, and she’d try to warp reality so that EVERYTHING that had anything remotely to do with her somehow reinforced her perception of herself. The way it manifested in day-to-day dating was really off-putting. I’d have to sort of play along if I wanted to communicate with her at all. It was really embarrassing.”
“Her Instagram was only selfies. It was really off putting.”
“She needed to be right. Her answer was always correct. There was no other answer.”
“For every one text I sent, she would send two or three. It just felt thirsty.”
“She. Liked. Everything. Every status. Every tweet. Every Instagram. It’s like I was dating a spambot and it made me feel like she was obsessed with me.”
“She always wore super high heels which was sexy, but then she couldn’t walk anywhere or do anything fun without needing to sit down because her feet hurt. Being pretty is less fun than actually fun.”
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