by Gayatri,
Contributing Author, Conscious Reminder
How being our own selves and offering all of our attention to another can be the greatest gift we know.
When we receive someone’s touch, we give them such a great gift.
Wait! Did you say ‘receive’? Surely giving is the gift…
Many of us have an inbuilt belief that giving is more important than receiving. In fact for many, the opposite of ‘giving’ is ‘taking’, and it is deemed unacceptable to take from someone without giving back.
Whilst this may relevant in the marketplace (you don’t take a commodity without giving the exchange of money), a different currency is required in our interactions with friends, lovers, and beloveds.
So here’s a thought to play with…. when I fully receive someone’s touch, I give them the gift of myself.
Time and time again in sessions, I notice that people (usually men) want to give something as much as they want to receive. In the beginning, I had a judgment that this was because they were not capable of truly receiving.
They were so conditioned to “doing something” that they did not feel worthy of receiving something being “done to them”. And for some people, this may be true.
For many others, I have come to understand that “being received” is the experience they need in order to expand into greater awareness and self-love.
It is a deep longing within them. It is precisely because they have not been received (usually by the women in their lives), that they are carrying a wound in their heart and their body.
Initially, I sometimes felt guilty to let the tables be turned and receive their loving touch rather than being the one giving it. As I observed my own thoughts, I realized I was also holding the belief that I was not deserving of this attention.
As I dropped deeper into the experience, I allowed myself to open fully to their touch. Receiving is not a passive act, or energetically checking out whilst something is done to us.
It requires exquisite attention to what is happening. It requires us to be present with sensation and feelings. It requires us to be fully in the moment and responding to that moment.
Receiving is also an act of vulnerability; it requires us to open ourselves up to another. Sometimes the act of giving can in fact be a barrier to this opening. The busy-ness of activity is a smokescreen camouflaging the unease of dropping into surrender.
When we receive, we are no longer in control of the action. There can be a fear that the other will “take” something from us that we are not willing or ready to give.
But with good communication and boundaries, there is no reason for this fear to take hold. When we have established the parameters of the experience, then we “let go” into receptivity and allow the experience to arise.
Yet, if we have do not know how to receive then how can we truly give?
About the Author: Gayatri is a Sacred Sexuality professional devoted to bringing 21st-century consciousness to ancient wisdom and practices. Since 2012 she has been offering safe and sacred spaces for people to discover the aliveness of their being through conscious touch and erotic awakening.
In a world where sex has become a commodity to promote, seduce and sell, Gayatri is passionate about positioning sexuality back in the body. Known for her refreshingly natural and joyful approach, Gayatri champions touch as the language to heal the separation between sex and spirit, heart and mind. www.gayatribeegan.com www.tantramassagetraining.com
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