by Conscious Reminder
Living a selfless life is the ideal for many of us but in this imperfect world, running after this ideal may not be the best thing.
When you have gone through abusive relationships and people have taken unfair advantage of your selflessness, there will come a time when you will have had enough.
It’s mostly narcissists who will tell you to be selfless because that would mean you are selfless and serve only their needs.
But looking out for your own well being should not anger the people around you. If they truly care about you, that is. Because that would mean you would spend more time caring for yourself instead of fulfilling their demands. And these people would surely not be happy about that!
When you decide that it’s high time you got out of such a parasitic situation and look after yourself, those who don’t know you would not understand why you did it. They will think this a sudden change in your behavior.
But they haven’t witnessed the abuse you have undergone or how you have been thinking about this change since forever! They will call you rude and selfish.
But if you want to live your life, you have to be selfish with yourself.
When people try to demotivate you for being selfish with your love and care, remind them: it’s none of their business! They may be shocked or surprised to see this once-selfless person turn so protective of where and how they spend their energy. But isn’t it all in your personal interest?
Even when such people try to guilt you for taking care of yourself, do not apologize for it. “I’m sorry”- this is a very powerful phrase and one that you should use only when you truly mean it.
You don’t have to be sorry about looking out for yourself. If you don’t look out for yourself, who will? If they cannot see you being happy caring for yourself, do they really deserve a space in your life?
Even when you are being selfish with your time and love, try not to be rude about it. You are your number one priority but that is only because you want to grow as a person.
And what sort of a person would you be if, in this journey, you end up hurting others? You are not trying to prove yourself better than others, you are just caring for yourself. So keep that in mind if a hint of narcissism starts to creep on you.
When you decide to care for yourself and be selfish with your needs, you will notice many improvements. You will be more focused but also get some leisure time. You will actively work towards keeping your relations healthy.
Surely some of these people won’t be a fan of your new and improved self but if they can’t be happy in your happiness, they clearly should not be in your life.
Be selfless but to an extent. Be selfish to the extent that you do not harm yourself while caring for others.
You have this one life and you shouldn’t be wasting your time to care for those who never look out for you!
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