Listen To What People Feel, Not To What They Say

by Conscious Reminder

One of the things that I feel stops us from understanding the people around us is that we don’t listen carefully.

There have been so many times when I have offered my advice to friends and family without even listening to the whole situation that they are going through. What happens because of this is that the advice we end up offering is practically useless because it is premised on a limited understanding of the situation.

So, the point is that if we hear in completion we would be able to help in completion. This is just part one of what is wrong with our conversations.

There is an even more serious problem…

The problem is that when someone tells you their problem and you hear it partially, you respond from the position of rationality. Yes, so you hear a part of it and still insist on solving their problem using logic and rational. Now, what happens in this process is that you don’t hear the emotions of the other person.

This means that when that person is clearly trying to reach out to you with a problem and trying to seek your help in order to arrive at a conclusion, all you do is that you talk from a point of view of logic and don’t really care for the person’s feelings.

In this way, you end up doing two things. The first is that you end up hurting the person in a certain way because you aren’t able to solve their problem and fulfill the expectations that they had from you.

Second is that, on a very human level you deny the emotional experience of that person and make them feel as if there is only a logical way to solve issues. This isn’t good because in this process you deny their emotional state altogether. You make them feel that problems only exist on a rational level.

However, I think that, if problems only existed on a rational level, they would easily get solved and wouldn’t cause us so much stress and grief. But the fact of the matter is that problems do exist on an emotional level. Everything affects us emotionally and we have to deal with it.

We have to realize that our emotions are pertinent. What we feel is important. The thing is that when we are in a problem, we always want people to hear us out emotionally but when others around us have an issue, we try to hear them out on a surface level.

So, the solution is that we got to be better and patient listeners. We have to listen to the entire problem that the other person is having. In this way, we will be solving their problems on an emotional level. Also, in this way we will be allowing them to fully experience their emotions.

This will also help you to steer clear of your judgmental attitude. Sometimes, when we hear people’s issues, we only judge them and that judgment is biased and never helps the other person out. But if you patiently hear the emotional state of the person, you will be more empathetic and concerned about them and will be able to offer good advice from your experiences and interactions.

I think, we should totally practice this. The world needs people who listen carefully, more than ever. Probably that’s the solution to this entire communication breakdown that is happening in the world right now!

Let’s just hear each other out and try to figure out what the other person is ‘feeling’! 

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