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Have you ever experienced the consequences of holding onto someone too tightly when you should have let go? When do you refuse to let go of the concept of “us” and accept things as they really are?
You incite the person you care about the most to despise you. You make them hate you. You end up hurting yourself more than the other person because of this process. This is why discussing techniques for letting go of a toxic relationship is so important.
Love is Something Everyone Wants to Hold on To
Particularly when it’s authentic. This is especially true when you’ve repeatedly been told you’re unlovable. And then this one person shows up and alters everything. No, not in a self-centered, bombing-love kind of way. Yet with true affection and concern. That which you had always desired but could never have received—love and care. At first, it felt strange. The reality was so unbelievable to you. You thought someone was playing with you.
But as time went on and their love for you deepened, you realized it was the stuff of fairy tales and Hollywood romances. Mystical splendor. As a result, you surrendered and let your guard down. You believed all his promises. Whenever he told you, “I love you,” you took it at face value. It was a hard hit. That was the turning point in your life. You experienced love for the very first time. To be respected. To be perceived and understood is crucial. Having joy.
But then something happened. In the future, you’ll look back and realize that everything was great. The moment you relaxed, you started to take things easy. At that point, warning signs began to appear. In your gut, you might experience an unexplainable terror. Yet you were oblivious to its nature. So, you chose to disregard it. You continued to disregard it until you finally gave up.
His eyes revealed his love for another person at that moment. That’s when you found out the individual you claimed to be your own wasn’t actually yours. It was as if someone had forcibly removed you from your own dwelling. You built your own house by hand. Furthermore, you found yourself adrift in this vast and hostile world, unsure of your next steps.
Fears, anxieties, depressions, loneliness, and pain smirked from outside the fence. Desperation was your choice. With a hurried knock, you rapped on your door, pleading with you to let me in. “Please, keep me here. Oh, please. Pray for me. I am completely out of options. My entire community is plotting my demise. Give it a rest. To me, there is no one else but you. Come on, I demand admission. Kindly grant me access.”
Thus, he unlocked the door. He was the one who finally permitted you entry. and relief escaped your lips. “Thank goodness!” you muttered to yourself. “Remember, I will always be there for you. My love for you will grow. In order to bring you joy, I will exert more effort. I will remediate every issue. Refrain from ejecting me at this point. Oh, please. I was terrified by that.”
Your home was already in a state of disrepair, but you were unaware of it. Worse, he was uninterested in settling into this dysfunctional household. You firmly grasped his hand, preventing him from leaving. Cracks, molds, shattered windows, and smashed doors were all things you chose to ignore. We forbade you from going back to the home where you faced eviction. “Absolutely not! I don’t believe it. “I can fix it,” you say. However, you cannot fix it.
He re-admitted you, as you reasoned, because he loves you. Shame, however, was all there was. According to him, you are now simply an object of his past. He feels compelled to bear a particular burden. It is not love. Such an obsession. It’s deceitful. Wow, that’s quite manipulative. You also don’t want that.
You finally mustered up the courage to leave your crumbling home and face the harsh reality of the outside world. You left your conception of “us” behind and entered the real world. Imagine a world where you and your partner have broken up.
But you seem bewildered and disoriented. Alone and deserted. On your own, how do you make your way through this vast and dangerous world? When it seems like everyone around you is out to get you, how can you possibly defend yourself? When he is no longer visible, where do you turn?
You must first discover who you are. A good place to start is with the question, “Hey, are you okay?” To begin, focus on breathing deeply and telling yourself, “I can do this.”
How Can You Let Go of Someone You Really Don’t Want to Lose?
1. Stop avoiding what’s really true.
It’s a deception. When all hope seems lost, don’t cling to it. Pay attention to your gut feelings. Your higher self has the truth at its fingertips; listen to it. Put an end to your denial and take stock of your relationship. I agree; it will be challenging. This will shatter you. Out loud, you’ll go. Screaming will be your answer. Anger like never before will consume you. The pain you feel will be unparalleled.
But you muster up the courage to face the truth head-on. Rather than rejecting it, embrace it. Instead of avoiding it, walk over there. Take ownership of the truth. Only then will the truth set you free. Anguish and rage no longer burden you.
2. Don’t beg for clarifications.
Why would you subject me to this? I served you well in every way. I don’t understand how you can abandon me. Tell me how you’ve come to hate me. Where did I go? Why did I mess up? How is her possession different from mine? I thought I was adequate. Shouldn’t my love have been sufficient to bring you joy?”
His explanations will always fall short of your expectations, regardless of what he says. Why? You seem to be unwilling to listen to reality. Your request for comprehension is misguided. You are holding him accountable for all the suffering he inflicted upon you. In other words, you want us to look for ways to stop him.
Look for peace of mind. At other times, people simply stop loving each other. People evolve. Things evolve. Every relationship goes through its own unique transition. Accepting the truth leads to the realization that everything is alright. Everything is fine. His disillusionment with you has no bearing on your feelings for him; you’ve come to understand. You love him so much that you’re prepared to let him go if it means he can be happy.
Avoid conflict. Leave it alone. Quit bombarding people with inquiries. Hold on tight. Look for peace of mind. No lies are allowed. Speak up if necessary. Communicate to comprehend. Grow up a bit. That is the way to part ways with a loved one.
3. Take a moment to be alone.
The time for you to focus is now. He departed. You and your partner have broken up. Feeling completely alone and abandoned. Stay true to who you are. Dialogue with oneself. Describe every feeling. Recite it aloud mentally. Express yourself honestly. Express your emotions, such as wrath, agony, despair, fixation, affection, animosity, and so on. Pound it out.
You need to pay attention to your inner voice. Hear the pain you’re experiencing. Feeling furious. Being wounded. Pay attention to all of your self-talk. Stay tuned for more. If you disregard your own advice, then who will? When you do this, you will acknowledge and understand yourself.
4. Release the pain.
It’s not worth keeping. He departed earlier. Now is the time to release him and your pain. I will not sugarcoat it: this is the most devastating stage, and it will hurt like hell. When you finally decide to let him go, you will feel terrible.
When you finally come to terms with the end of your relationship and release the concept of “us,” your whole world will crumble. Just roll with it. Let yourself crack. You won’t be able to put yourself back together until then.
Somewhere along the lines of “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional” is an old Buddhist proverb. Feel that. You can choose to endure the suffering, or you can choose to live through it. The second you do this, an epiphany will strike you—the moment you realize your relationship is over and release him.
A sudden and unexpected lift will occur. You won’t feel a thing. Love will shine a light on you. You must love him, love yourself, and love something bigger than us all. Let me tell you how to break up with someone.
5. Stop searching for love in other places.
Seek love without being desperate. Your confidence is shattered. Your self-assurance has taken a serious beating. To feel loved, you are in dire need. You make the decision to seek out alternatives, specifically someone who can rekindle your feelings of love. Feel worthy once more. However, you shouldn’t.
Becoming abandoned, deserted, or rejected is one of life’s most painful experiences. You should not, however, replace what you had with something of no value at this time. Because you’re desperate, you’re going to do things you’ll regret. Stay away from quick relationships. Avoid taking vengeance. Avoid making him jealous.
When something ends, it ends. Stop it. Embrace the nothingness. Embrace the shadows. Do not leave the agony behind. Embrace the pain. Accept its devastation. Allow it to shape you into a different person. May it bestow upon you wisdom and strength. Keep up with it. Do not avoid it. Stay focused and avoid superficial pursuits. Quiet down and be still. Do not leave the agony behind.
6. The most difficult part is now.
Have self-love. Since I also struggle with it, I will refrain from providing extensive advice on how to love yourself. At this point, however, you may benefit from consulting a variety of other online resources that focus on self-love.
The one piece of advice I can give you is to be true to who you really are. Don’t attempt to transform into someone you are not; don’t appear to be tough when you are vulnerable; and don’t appear indifferent when you are still deeply in love with him.
If you were naive in love, then so be it. Be naive. Don’t be desperate. Don’t be desperate. Have the strength to let go, even though it hurts. Be yourself. Let go of your anger, your fears, your insecurities, and your pain. Just you. Your most genuine self.
Remember that no matter how unworthy you feel of him or anyone else, you are always deserving of love and acceptance from yourself. So, stop second-guessing yourself and start living.
“What does it matter if I fail? I accept myself as I am. What matters if you no longer love me? I accept myself as I am.”
7. Keep loving.
Are we going to start all over again? I think so! In the end, love is what matters most. No matter how bad things get, love always comes out on top. Your love for him will become unconditional as you fully embrace the truth, release him, and love yourself. A love that hopes for the best for him. An affection that wishes for his happiness regardless of your presence. This is a love that brings joy and healing to your soul.
You can still love him even after you let him go. By all means, you are also free to abandon that love. However, if it remains with you for a brief period, allow it to fade away naturally. Make it disappear on its own. Loving another person is always the right choice. It’s perfectly acceptable, provided you don’t coerce them into picking you.
Get in touch with love. I am amazed by love. If you’re having trouble letting go of someone, love can teach you how to do it.
8. Surrender
You should respect whatever or whoever you hold in high regard. Whatever higher force you identify with, whether it be spiritual or divine, Christ, Krishna, Allah, Buddha, Supreme Being, Universe, or any other name you like is acceptable. Give up. If you’re not interested in religion or spirituality, then give in to love. Embrace its guidance. Allow it to illuminate the path ahead.
When you’ve exhausted all of your resources, when you feel like giving up, when you’re broken and confused, and when you don’t have any more energy or hope, surrender! Put all your trust in God and let go. Trust, be patient, and witness the enchantment materialize. Soon, the bright side will become apparent.
In case you were wondering, when I say “surrender,” I don’t mean giving up.” When you give up control and let the universe direct your steps, you are surrendering to it. It guides you towards a superior state. The universe has orchestrated everything for your ultimate benefit, and you have unwavering faith in it. For the purpose of learning to let go, this must be the optimal method for learning to let go.
It’s alright!
It’s alright to experience those emotions. It’s alright to mess up sometimes. In love, it’s alright to feel desperate. Attempting to cling to your soulmate is perfectly acceptable. If you find it difficult to let go, that’s alright.
Standing up for what you love is acceptable. If your love for each other is strong enough, then you can fight all you want. The second he stops loving you, and you persist in trying to win him back, you will have already lost the battle. He should be letting go. He should be set free. May he find happiness. Release yourself from the burden of your sorrows.
No big deal. If love is short-lived, that’s alright. He can leave you if he wants to. Separation is acceptable. It’s alright to release. Letting go is the only way to discover your intended path.
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