Every single one of us has loved, and most of us have many times loved in vain.
As unfortunate and sad as it is, the truth is that just because we love someone doesn’t mean that they will love us back. And this one-sided love can be difficult to ignore. We start feeling that we are somehow responsible for the other person not loving us back.
But the fact is, our personality, our job, and every other thing that we believe is not in our favor is not the only obstacle in our pursuit of love. Sometimes, certain aspects of our lives are simply unattainable. And we need to learn to live with that.
It is easier to move on when this unrequited love was for some stranger, and being out of sight and out of mind actually helps you heal. But what do you do when the object of your one-sided love is a colleague or, worse, a close friend?
How do you deal with your feelings of dejection before moving on and saving your friendship?
Here are 7 tips on how to move on from unrequited love and find peace and happiness.
1. Allow yourself to mourn before you move on.
Recognize that you have suffered the loss of something you were really hoping for. Nobody bounces back from something like this immediately, so don’t try to pretend that it doesn’t matter. Allow yourself to grieve. It is ok to experience sadness and perhaps even anger, but the correct way to deal with these emotions is to allow them to vent rather than suppressing them.
2. Take your attention off the topic.
Once you know that you are stuck with one-sided love, it is advisable that you try to forget about it as soon as possible. Not moving on is not fair to either you or the other person. So try distracting yourself. Finally, finish that book you have been meaning to for a long time. Go for that run. Do whatever that takes your mind out of it in a healthy way.
3. Try reaching out for support.
Just because your love is not reciprocated by that one person doesn’t mean you don’t have the love and support of the rest of your friends and family. Ask them for help if you need it, or just have a long chat about completely unrelated things. Being with them will help you move on faster.
4. Before you love anyone else, learn to love yourself.
The most important thing is that you learn to love yourself first. Pamper yourself and take time off to do things that you love. Give yourself a free pass on what you would like to eat and do.
5. Try to empathize with their pain as well.
It is easy to resent the other person for not feeling the same way about you, and it might even be easier to cope with your feelings when you have somewhere to put the blame. However, it is equally difficult for them to deal with the same emotions. When something like this happens, it does not leave anyone unaffected.
6. Maintain a safe distance.
In such situations, it is a good idea to take some time off for yourself. If seeing them causes you discomfort, then it is perfectly acceptable to keep your distance.
7. Concentrate more on other, more ambitious goals.
Above all, it’s crucial to understand that this situation is not catastrophic. You have much bigger concerns in your life, and now is as good a time as any to start focusing on them. Focus on them, and everything else will fall into place as well.
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