by Conscious Reminder
Divorce is not something anyone wishes for at any point in their lives, but one can turn things around instead of wallowing in self pity and depression.
All one needs to do is turn things around and make it an opportunity of growth and learning.
Now, it would not be an understatement if I said that the period just after your divorce is the most stressful one as there is a lot of adjustment involved.
There was a certain way you led your life when you were with someone, and needless to say, doing those things alone now will be out of habit but at the same time, will leave you feeling weird because you are doing them all on your own.
You will also find a sort of tension when talking to your friends who are also friends with your ex because some of them will approve of your side, and some theirs. They will treat you differently given that you are newly single.
You will have a lot of free time in your hands and will realize that you have to take back everything you gave into your relationship and it will feel liberating in multiple things.
There will be a lot of mixed feelings that you will have to work with, especially if there are kids involved.
When you get married, it is natural to associate your identity with your partner’s and it is quite a task to separate yourself from the title of “Mr/Mrs” but it is doable.
When you are with someone for a while and have a stable relationship or marriage, sometimes we do not realize how much of our selves we give into a marriage and when it is over, we have lost sight of who we are.
We all change in a relationship to accommodate the other person’s needs and wishes so when newly single, take time for yourself and start keeping yourself first again and sometimes people want to find themselves as people and do new things. All I have to say is- the world is your oyster.
Being alone but not lonely
Think about it- you are alone, which does not have to translate to you being lonely- it can just mean that you are doing things just for yourself and it is all about what you like and what you want.
Sometimes even when two people love each other, they hold us back from living our best lives, so now is your time to live out as loud as you want and focus on your happiness. All of this is a huge learning process and also helps you grow as a person.
You start looking at things differently because you are looking at the world for one. Marriage is a comfort zone and we all know that there is no real growth in the comfort zone.