While I do enjoy being with that special someone and be happy about the prospect of spending the rest of our lives together, fact is I really am scared with all the responsibilities that come with saying “I do”. I feel devastated imagining if we had to separate and how vulnerable it would leave me!
My ‘Lived Happily Ever After’
Every little girl dreams about her big day and how that day would turn out to be the best in her life and that marriage is no less of being the fairy-tale of her dreams, being the princess who gets swooped up by her knight in shining armor.
But weddings seemed a lot more fun when I was 18, talking about it all giddy and flushed up, thinking about the big day. But now as all the responsibilities that come with it gains priority, I’m terrified of screwing it up.
I Do / Do I?
It is true I want picture perfect companionship where the vows I take are kept forever. But forever is a long time and I don’t want to hit a rough patch.
Also I only want to do this once and witnessing so many failed marriages and the emotional baggage brought with it makes me question the magic that was marriage.
I definitely want my marriage to be a big part of life but I also do not want it to engulf my very existence and independence and take up all my time.
Over time it might get tedious and the person I fell in love with at the first place also might change. Also over time, the love that we share now, its intensity might also be toned down a little and all I would be left with is an acquaintance over the other side of my bed. And it is this very dreadful but probable reality that I wish not to face.
All’s Well That Ends Well
Despite all these omens, I believe in the love that we both share and with positivity in my mind, will walk down the aisle.
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