by Conscious Reminder
A lot of romantic movies are going to tell us that the four things we will mention below are romantic. However, the truth would be that they are quite disturbing.
We are constantly bombarded with some advice when it comes to what is romantic, whether it would be through TV shows, movies, magazine articles, etc.
Unluckily, there are some other popular “romantic” behaviors which are far from romantic. For instance, we constantly hear people saying that they want their partner to be possessive and jealous, considering jealousy the sign of profound emotions. However, this is far from romantic too. Jealousy is definitely more objectifying and bad than romantic.
There are many popularized “romantic” behaviors that are unhealthy. They are promoted through songs, fictional media, or even through social circles. We have to understand that such behaviors are quite harmful. Some can even be toxic.
These are the four behaviors which the media considers romantic, but are, in fact, toxic:
Jealous partners are caring partners.
Romantic partners aren’t property. In fact, they are independent individuals with social lives separate from the lives of their loved ones. Constantly jealous partners are those that resent their loved ones for living that separately. This resentment does not come from romance, but from the desire to have their partner only for themselves. This is called control, and not love or romance.
Jealous partners want to isolate their loved ones. They really wish that the world of their loved ones revolves only around them, without giving some space for family and friends.
Not having boundaries is a sign of intimacy.
Having boundaries actually means drawing the lines about who we are, what we are, or what we are not comfortable with. In fact, this may encompass words and actions. To respect the boundaries of someone means to listen when he or she tells us that there is something that makes him or her uncomfortable.
Regardless of what advice columns, TV shows, or even friends tell us, boundaries are fundamental. This applies to every relationship, including romantic relationships too.
Constant clashing represents the sign of chemistry.
Constant arguments and clashing are considered signs of chemistry. In fact, we cannot stop clashing, or even being drawn back to one another. We are usually contrasted to those mushy and cheesy couples who are sometimes boring as they look like they never fight and have conflicts. In fact, such couples do not exist.
Constantly fighting with our partner will not be healthy. However, this does not mean that we should never argue with our partner. But, we have to remember that continually clashing to a point where we are in tears and prepared to break up with our partner is not healthy at all.
We hurt one another most as we are closest to one another.
A lot of people believe that those that are closest to them are those that will hurt them the most. Sometimes, this can be more than true. However, the closer a person is to us, the more probably he or she will know what precise word is going to hurt us.
However, throwing such words out will not be a sign of intimacy. In fact, it will be the sign that we try to hurt each other. There are a lot of fictional TV couples that say some things although they are aware that such things are going to wound their loved one. We believe that they cannot control themselves; however, they can do that for sure.
Saying harmful and hurtful things will not be the passion’s side effect. In fact, it will be a warning sign of toxicity. We have to remember that toxic partners will degrade and mock us. In that way, they tend to destroy our self-confidence, as they tell us that we aren’t good or that we don’t deserve to be with someone. This isn’t romance at all. It is simply controlling.
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