by Lynda Arbon
Contributing Author, Conscious Reminder
Snippet: Your relationship’s success will entirely depend on your attitude towards it and what you want out of it. Here are a few tips to have a fulfilling relationship
You might have been alone for a very long time, or had several relationships in the past none of which panned out. Perhaps you are confused as to why you cannot make these relationships work or why you are single.
Today, we will explore how to make relationships work, and whether or not a relationship is something you actually want.
Is this really what you want?
Relationships are a commitment. A lot of people date with the intent of finding someone to get married to. However, if you have had several relationships or been single for very long, there are chances that you might not actually want a relationship. You may simply think you want to be in a relationship because perhaps that’s what all your friends want, or because you might be sustaining societal pressure from family and peers to get into it.
If you have initiated break ups or rejected people for any number of reasons, do not be afraid to admit to yourself that you do not want to be in a relationship, at least not yet. People take time to be ready for a commitment, and you should also have your fair share of time to prepare.
Can you ever be ready for a relationship?
The answer is yes, a hundred times yes. If you feel like you are finally ready for a relationship, then you are ready to move onto the next step. But how do you tell if you are ready for a relationship? Well, other than commitment, there are many factors that determine how ready you are.
- Loving yourself. People are smart, they can sense if someone does not have a lot of self-confidence or if they do not like themselves. A lot of times, disliking yourself is not only unattractive to other people, but it is unfair to your potential partner. How can you expect someone to love you if you do not love yourself?
- Think about what you want out of a relationship: Different people have different reasons they date and/or get married. For some, it may be security, for others it is a lifelong partner to go with them on adventures, and for others it might be a companion they can fulfill and grow their creative side with. You have to figure out what is important to you and what you want from being with another person.
- Start the path to self-improvement: No one can change you but yourself. You need to introspect and find out what is holding you back, and figure how to improve yourself. If you want to lose weight, start exercising. Or maybe, tweak and change your way of thinking to develop an entirely new perception of certain things.
Okay, I think I’m ready, now what?
You will be glad to know that half your job is complete. People find those who have a lot of self-confidence and self-love, despite their other idiosyncrasies, to be very attractive. Now, all you need to do is finding out how to work through a relationship. Luckily, we have you covered.
- Learn from your past mistakes: If you have made mistakes in past relationships, figure out how where you went wrong and how it can be avoided in the future. Maybe it was a bad habit like smoking. Try to cut down on smoking and switch to e-cig. This change will help you get around the immense harm caused by tobacco smoking as well as the ill-effects of passive smoking.
Other mistake can be not providing adequate time to your loved one. Try to get a good work-life balance so that your zeal for work doesn’t get in the way of a flourishing relationship.
A third mistake can be paying too much attention to other friends and ignoring your special one. Make sure that you cut down on the time spent with other friends and make adequate time for your loved one.
- Do not try to find emotional intimacy through sex: Sex may be great and everything, but unfortunately it can also blind us. Sometimes we believe that the basics of relationships like communication and trust can be bypassed through sex. If you are desperate to find happiness and feel the only way you can do that is through sex, then you have got it wrong.
- Be the best partner for your partner: A lot of the times we seek out relationships to find out how they can best satisfy us. A lot of the times we do not consider what we offer to the table.
If you want a funny, adventurous partner while being a couch potato who forgets people’s birthdays, then you are not thinking about your potential partner. A bonus for being a great partner is finding things you actually are passionate about. It is a learning experience for the self while also being selfless.
- Have an ideal person, and be the person your ideal person would want to be with: We all have an idea of what we want in our perfect partner, but rarely do we choose to live up to those standards.
For instance, if you want a caring and considerate partner who will make you breakfast in bed, but you don’t know the first thing about cooking and have forgotten Mother’s day three times in a row, then you might want to start making a change.
Think about what your ideal partner would want from a significant other. If your ideal partner likes to go on walks or is ‘book-smart’, then you should also have the stamina for walking with them, or pick up a book every once in a while.
Go forth and conquer!
Now that you have an idea of what you want and ways you can go about being the best significant other, the only person who can hold you back now is yourself. If you are ready to take this next step in life, then go out, find people, and make new and enriching connections that might also end you up in the lovely aisle!
About the Author: Lynda Arbon is a passionate and enthusiastic health blogger. She likes keeping herself updated on health trends and blogs. Her favourite pastime is learning history and solving crossword puzzles. Follow her on Twitter.
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