by Conscious Reminder
Heartaches are never easy, no matter the reason.
They can be caused by loss and grief, or maybe huge changes in life that make us feel defeated. But once you get through it, there will be light awaiting you.
Heartaches are not always romantic. Any kind of loss can make us feel in a similar manner emotionally, and even physically. Whenever a relationship with a very close person ends, it causes tremendous emotional upheaval.
The reason is the longer we stay with a person, the more our selfhood becomes integrated with them. Such kinds of ends have also been proven via research to cause physical pain as well, at times.
Here are 9 tips for getting through it:
1. Let Yourself Grieve
Among the most common mistakes that can be made at this point is suppressing your emotions. There is no need for blocking off all the anger, sadness, or negative emotions. There is also no need for forcing yourself to pick yourself up. Actually, moving on too quickly is usually an indication that people are not grieving and processing what happened properly.
2. Be Graceful Towards Yourself
It is also very important that we are kind to ourselves during this time. Just as we would not tell our friends that they will be fine the day after they lose a loved one, we should not tell ourselves that.
3. Lean On The Support System You Have
Even if one relationship ends, remember that there are still family and friends who are supporting you. So allow them to do so. They will help you stay away from isolation as well as a soundboard.
4. Foster Healthy Routines And Habits
Doing basic things can feel challenging during this period. However, this is the time when healthy habits make a world of difference. Focusing on doing activities and exercises you enjoy helps you stay grounded, and avoid being hopeless. You will be better able to process everything going on in life.
5. Use “And/both” phrases
Experts explain that when you use phrases using “and/both”, your emotional experiences receive validation and you also remind yourself of your groundedness. Think of phrases like: you are very sad but this report has to be done.
6. Don’t Be Impulsive
We often tend to be impulsive and take risky decisions after suffering a deep loss. For example, after a breakup we often find ourselves needing to connect with an ex. But it may not always be wise. If such thoughts are crowding your mind, then wait at least a day and pause before you act them out.
7. Write Them Down
Journaling your heartache can have wondrous effects. Research has shown that the mental health of people who are going through recent divorces benefit more when they write about the divorce. There are very few things as healing and sacred as writing. It can help you understand what happened, what you are feeling at the moment, and why you are so pained.
8. Avoid Immediately Dating Again
This tip is specific to the kind of situation you are facing. It depends on the kind of breakup, the duration of your former relationship, and many other factors. But usually, it is better to take some time off. Seeking a lot of attention is usually an indicator you are staying away from grieving or seeking short-term solutions.
9. Consider Seeking Professional Help
Of course, the best tip is always going to be considering professional therapy. Whenever it becomes too difficult for you to manage, therapy will always be beneficial.
Whether it was a horrendous breakup or the loss of a close person, heartaches are always tremendously difficult. But keep in mind that it will not last forever. It does take patience and time to get through it. And at the end of the day, you will have grown and learned more about yourself.
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