“People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.”– Unknown
These days, we want to accomplish our goals as quickly as possible, so we go and use all our skills; we make a move here and there, more -or less- skillful, and….voila, WE MADE IT. Sometimes we want our relationships to work the same way; we buy a present, we give a smile, a few kind words, a kiss and we think that we are already in a relationship. However, that’s not how it works with people; people are not objects. A slightly different logic applies here. We can make a relationship work only if we take things slowly, and if we stay moderate and consistent.
A good relationship requires investing time and effort in it, and in order to make it work, we need to give everything we’ve got – not just a couple of things we can do here and there. To gain someone’s trust means that, sometimes, we need to go through temptations and see how we behave during stormy times, or, what is more, to see what kind of friends we are in times when the people we care about are drowning in problems. Unfortunately, speed and quantity have become our biggest issues. We tend to surround ourselves with as many people as possible – call them friends or not- just in case some of them fall of the radar.
And there will be ‘friends’ who will disappear because you can’t give your undivided attention to so many people and excel in so many fields. You cannot simultaneously be a top expert in all branches of science, art, sports, parenting, etc… YOUR TIME IS YOUR LIFE, and it is limited, so don’t overcrowd it with people just to use them as a safety net when times get rough. If your relationships are superficial and the people in our life – who probably entered it only because there was something you could offer- are most likely to disappear when you’ll most need them.
Be close with people who have ‘soul’; warm people who make you feel good around them, even without saying a word. If a person wants to understand you, they will do it without asking you to prove of explain anything. If a person wants to accept you, he or she will do it unconditionally. But these are the kind of relationships that you need to invest in; first you need to open and give your soul to others, so they can return the ‘favor’. There are no shortcuts; stay true to yourself, and don’t pretend to be something you’re not. In the end, this is the only king of relationship that will survive all the storms.
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