Being unhappy while being committed can be due to many reasons. Perhaps, there has been a sense of distance and disconnection lately.
Perhaps, there has been more fighting than usual. Or, maybe, things have just become too “dull”. A lot of people do not spend any time breaking up relationships the moment something like this happens. However, that might not always be the right choice.
Every Relationship Has Its Cycles
According to therapists, there is nothing unusual at all if you are in a commitment but still feel unhappy sometimes. That’s just how life is, after all. We can be living our dreams but we still might not wake up with a smile on our face on some mornings. Furthermore, romantic relationships particularly tend to have growth cycles and comfort cycles.
During comfort cycles, the relationship feels steady, positive, and like everything is going as planned even without doing anything. During growth cycles, one or both people involved feel like there is something off and saddening about the relationship. This is the time when we have to work, grow, and change. This is when we must talk to our partners to care about their needs and let them do the same for us.
This is to say that even if you feel like something is going wrong in the relationship, it may not be an indication to break it off. Rather, every couple will most probably experience such uncomfortable periods. They will have to work through the malaise and challenge. However, putting in the work will inevitably lead to joy and comfort once more.
When Will You Know It Is A Sign To Break It Off?
Be that as it may, being unhappy in a commitment should never be accepted and ignored as is. After all, joy, mutual support, and camaraderie are the main goals of why we go into relationships.
If these feelings have lost their place then we must understand why it has happened and how to return to a happy place. If either of them is not possible, then we must allow ourselves to be free of the relationship.
So, what will give you a sure sign that a bout of unhappiness is not just a part of a natural relationship cycle? It can be when the partner constantly refuses to even talk about working things out so that all the unhappiness is addressed.
It can also be when they belittle your concerns or shame you and use them as a weapon against you. It may be when they do not show any signs of caring and being concerned about how you are. In all these situations, the happy place is most probably lost forever.
However, that does not mean you should give up without trying. According to therapists, begin by holding an honest conversation about your feelings and the relationship issues you are facing with your partner.
Share your problems without blaming anyone and convey a true desire to hear their side and search for solutions together. After that, try to find the parts that can be changed and see if change does take place.
You do not have to give up after one failed conversation. However, repeatedly being ignored is a big problem. Just ensure that you have no regrets about a lack of trying before you exit such a relationship.
The majority of us know that there is no relationship without some sort of conflict. As such, there can be bouts of unhappiness. In fact, it might even be inevitable. It’s a natural occurrence. However, what is important is knowing the reason behind every unhappiness. Furthermore, both people should know if they want to work hard enough to return to a more joyous state.
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