This might seem odd to some people. For, isn’t the destination the same? Maybe the journey is different, but at the end of it all, aren’t we trying to be with the same person?
The answer is: No!
Falling in love is as different from being in love as America is from England. Sure, they both speak English, but that’s where the similarity ends. Similarly, falling in love and being in it have the same suffix- love. But it never means the same.
Let’s try to define it with an example:-
You are walking down the road when you slip on a banana peel. You fall down. Now, what is your next instinct? To get up. In hindsight, that is what falling in love means- an expiry date. You can fall in love with someone, but unless you ARE in love with that person, it will always have an expiry date. Seems a whole load of semantics, doesn’t it?
Now, what we need to understand is that falling in love is a giant umbrella which encompasses most of our feelings toward someone else. Sexual, physical, obsession, infatuation, any form of an emotion that makes us want to be with that person! But they come with a catch- never to last forever.
You must have had crushes, celebrity obsessions, people you wanted to simply sleep with. This was falling in love and while you might hesitate with the word ‘love’ here, it is what it is.
Love doesn’t simply mean being beholden to someone. No one is actually criticizing someone’s desire to sleep around- it is a personal opinion at the very least.
Why do we call it falling in love then? Our ego! We want that person, we crave that person, and for a time, we need that person to such a level that they turn into a drug. We get addicted to that person until it either destroys us or we get ahead of the game.
This basic craving is what we begin considering as falling in love, for somewhere down the line, it makes us feel validated. It somehow defines our existence and let’s all be clear on one topic- we are all searching for our true existence.
Now, let us get back to being in love. What does that mean? If you think it means boring trips to the mall to buy vegetables for someone who is visiting a bookstore to buy your favorite book, you are correct. This is love.
It doesn’t have to be a whirlwind, it doesn’t have to be tsunami-like, but it needs to be true. Falling in love makes us feel that we are surrounded by sunshine and daisies and we couldn’t be further away from the truth. But love is real. It is true and tangible. We identify with it for we try understanding it.
Love is all about compromising, being kind, and compassionate. We might not have that fire inside us when we see them. We might never have the desire to just ravish them where they stand, but being in love would ensure that you lay beside them as they cough throughout the night.
Love does entail that you would be keeping aside one day of the month when you would spend an entire day with them. Love, would also mean that you would always be by their side, especially when they least deserve it. For they would need it the most.
Falling in love would definitely suffice for a short period of time. You feel good, you feel validated, and you feel loved. But is that love? For feeling loved and being loved are two different things.
And honestly, which hints more at true love- someone saying that they love you when they are physical with you or someone who simply wakes you up in the morning, pours cold water on your head, forces you to go out on a run with you, but also ensures that you have a bottle of glucose with you? Some would say the former and it is their opinion. But mostly, it would always be the latter.
Love is in the small things of life. Watching your son take his first step. Watching your daughter graduate. Watching your wife on your wedding- wondering what could have made you so lucky that you are marrying her.
That is love!
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