Being a good human being is always nice. Everyone should be a better version of themselves but not at the cost of their own comfort.
Being too nice can harm ones well-being. You might always feel that you need to appease the people in your life so that they love you but, at the end of the day, you feel drained and unsatisfied. You feel that people might not understand what you are going through and take advantage of your good behavior. You feel that they might not like your demeanor and feel like you are a pushover.
These are the 9 signs that you’re being too nice for your own good:
1. “No” doesn’t exist in your dictionary
You always say ‘yes’ to everybody. You never say ‘no’ to anyone and agree to do whatever they say, even if it is difficult for you to do at the moment. Any kind of request is sent your way, you jump to help people. Even if it is a difficult task, you always seem to do it. Saying ‘no’ makes you feel guilty of disappointing people.
Here is what you should do: Learn to say ‘no’. It is for your own good. You should appease yourself before you think about others. When people see that you are available anytime, they will disrespect you and take you for granted, so sometimes you need to say ‘no’. No one is going to mind if you politely decline. Reasonable people will be okay with it. As for the narcissistic ones, you don’t want them in your life anyway.
2. Be on everyone’s good side
You always want everyone to think good of you. You cannot stand the fact that someone dislikes you. Everyone must keep you in their good books. You never want to disagree with anyone and get on their bad side. You never want them to hate you. Even if you know they are wrong, you agree with them.
Here is what you should do: Take a moment with yourself and calculate your likes and dislikes. Think about your morals. What matters to you the most? Think about your comfort zones. Do not be afraid to voice your opinion. People will not hate you. You should be confident and never worry of what others will say.
3. You agree with others opinions more than yours
Everyone has their own opinions and values. They adhere to those values and agree to those opinions that agree to these values. If you see someone having different opinions, you seem to agree with theirs rather than your own. You don’t voice your values loudly.
Here is what you should do: Voice your opinions. Everyone will understand. Even if they don’t, they won’t oppose. In a discussion, everyone’s opinions matter. Don’t be afraid to say what you truly feel. Be confident.
4. No boundaries
You do not have any boundaries. You do whatever you are asked to do. You do everything that people say, even when it is at odd hours. People usurp your space, time, comfort and dump their work on you and expect you to do it. You don’t say ‘no’ to them. You allowed them to take you for granted and they forgot that you also have a life.
Here is what you should do: You should let people know about your boundaries. You should tell them that you also have a comfort zone and a proper time. You cannot entertain them any time they want. Make your boundary.
5. “Sorry” is the most used word in your vocabulary
You hate to say it but you’re compelled to say sorry at every step. You always blame yourself for others faults and let others think the same. Everyone starts expecting that you would apologize, even without making any mistakes. Don’t demean yourself like this.
Here is what you should do: Don’t say sorry when you know that it is not your fault. You don’t have to feel guilty for loving yourself. Learn to love yourself. Your happiness should be your first priority. You come first.
6. Feeling guilty
You always feel guilty for other people’s faults. You’re late, you feel guilty, your friend is sad, you feel guilty. You always blame yourself for everything. Stop feeling bad for something that you did not do.
Here is what you should do: Take care of your own feelings and stop feeling guilty for loving yourself. Everyone has self respect and you should also have it. You are more important than other people’s demands. You should look after your own demands and then help others. If you don’t care for yourself, no one will.
7. You hate confrontations
You always get scared of quarrels and confrontations. If you see someone disagreeing with your opinions, you always keep quiet. You never want to confront the truth. This is not right.
Here is what you should do: Don’t be afraid to speak up. If someone is giving you a hard time, don’t keep quiet. Your insecurities won’t voice themselves unless you speak up. Stand up for your rights and respect yourself. Don’t be a pushover and don’t let others use you like a doormat.
8. You say “yes” to everything
Don’t be someone that always says “yes” and forgets to treat themselves. Just think about yourself for once and keep other people secondary. Learn to say “no” and say it strongly.
Here is what you can do: Spend a day only to please yourself. Don’t live for others. Live for yourself. Love yourself and spend some time to relax and enjoy life, rather than be an assistant for other people. Live everyday as if you are gifting yourself with love and relaxation – free of anyone’s expectations.
9. Ask your reflection, are you happy?
If your reflection looks annoyed after a day of appeasing others, listen to yourself. Your reflection is honest and is telling you to stop pleasing other people and love yourself more.
Here is what you should do: Stand up for others and yourself. People will be inspired by you. They will see you as brave and they will love your resilience. You will feel good about yourself and you will love your strength. Fight back for your rights, rather than agreeing with everyone.
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