by Conscious Reminder
There are many ways in which conflict can be handled, and one such way is avoiding it. Depending on our first experiences from our childhood, we were all molded and taught about how we can navigate conflict in different ways.
There are families that are louder communicators, learning to actually engage with certain conflict in ways which will cause additional conflict.
Other families go through some real tribulations, but one of their ways of navigating such tribulations is pretending they never really occurred. However, others will sit down, having family meetings, molding about how messy conversations are supposed to look like.
Many of us will find conflict scary. Where there is conflict, there is also pain. And, where there is a pain, there is loss and also feelings of despair.
People tend to avoid conflicts for various reasons. Conflicts don’t feel good or easy for anyone. In fact, we aren’t usually taught about how we can overcome it in ways which don’t need to feel wrong, so we simply relate it with negative spaces.
However, the thing actually is that when we ignore or avoid conflict, it means that we also avoid love, growth, and joy. We also avoid learning to love others better, practicing to speak the truth, and getting quite familiar with the needs and wants we have.
To no longer avoid conflict, and not hating the process of working through everything with our loved ones, we first need to set our boundaries with our ways of engaging within conflicts.
When we avoid conflicts as of the noise caused and tone utilized when having such conversations, we should have the ability to be quite honest and sincere with ourselves when it comes to that, and after that communicate the ways in which we should speak and how our conversations should look like.
When we tend to avoid conflicts because nothing seems to work out, we actually need to have the ability to think back of those reasons and after that change and communicate our intentions for that conversation.
We should have the ability to actually bring our minds to places where we will be more focused on the solution, than on the problem, and after that, we should have the ability to communicate the expectation.
There are definitely ways in which we can make conflicts more positive and lighthearted instead of something that we dread. There are ways to have the ability to say, “Hey, this is not working for me, but I want to work through this with you. Let’s talk about what needs to happen,” without making it sound negative.
To simply stop avoiding conflicts, we should give them boundaries. We should have the ability to talk about what is good for us or what isn’t in the middle of the conversation. We should have the ability to mold tough discussions in ways which aren’t just obtainable but also effective.
We should also figure out the triggers around the conflicts and where all of them come from. We should discover what we need conflicts to sound, feel, or look like. We should then practice communicating the needs to those that we love the most, including ourselves.
When we actually teach others our boundaries, it means that we also teach them about where our door is. When that door is wide open, then growth, true connection and love may come in.
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