by Conscious Reminder
A majority of us spend our lives with the only objective: proving the worth of ourselves, and justifying why we exist to everyone we meet.
But here is a reminder that you do not have to prove anything to anybody, that is you are enough. When our selfhood gets attached to what and how nicely we do something, our problems around self-worth begin.
We keep comparing everyone else to ourselves and then feeling insufficient. We are taught that being talented enough, nice enough, or attractive enough will let us feel belonging and acceptance.
But every one of us is enough, perfect, valuable, and worthy regardless of our work, our talents.
1. There Is Nothing To Be Proven About You. Your Standard Is The Thing That Matters
Do not measure your desires and ambitions using others. Set your standards. If they prove to be too difficult, then talk to yourself and think about why you set such unreachable goals anyway.
Have attainable and realistic standards after thinking about your identity, feelings, and talents. This will let you be grounded and connected to your authentic worthiness.
2. External Validation Does Not Stay
We all want affirmation from people who we admire or respect. It does feel nice to receive that gold start. It is undoubtedly a positive sentiment for anyone. But, such validation is temporary. This is because this validation is not something that you own.
It is given on time that is borrowed. If you do not do your work and possess a value that you can call your own, this external goodness will go away. You should think of this part of the self as sacred. So that it is always in your reach whenever the need for it arises.
3. Pleasing Everyone Is Impossible
Everything in our lives has something like the wheel for hamsters. This includes your wish for pleasing everyone around you by proving your self-worth. But you will always have that singular person who always fails to appreciate how wonderful you have been.
This is usually one of the parents. As a result, you keep returning to the empty well. So always be mindful that no matter how many honorable acts you do to seek approval, it will always be of no use with at least a few.
4. You Do Not Have Anything That Needs To Be Proven. You Are Good Enough.
In Psychology, D. W. Winnicott had developed a concept regarding the mother that is good enough. The same is applicable here, as well. There is no need for you to be the model of perfection, or even better than someone else.
You and only you can determine what “good enough” means for you. Striving for perfection or better than what is needed will result in you getting exhausted in the end. Ultimately, the unsustainability will make you feel defeated.
5. Inadequacy Is Experienced Internally
Recognize the fact that all the feelings that are pushing you to prove yourself, or that you are not enough, are inside you. The feeling might be experienced when there are people surrounding you.
But, most likely, it is your internal struggle being projected. You can work on the feeling with a mentor you trust, or in therapy. Feeling worthy and valued must start from the inside.
So, we hope these reasons were enough to convince you that there is nothing to be proven to anybody. We also hope that you as yourself are deserving enough.
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