by Conscious Reminder
The relationship between parents and children often has a lot of drama, especially when the kids are teenagers.
But having narcissistic parents can have more lasting and serious implications. This means traits like superiority, entitlement, attention-seeking, lacking empathy, etc.
If your parents had these traits then your parents might have been narcissists. Read on to find out how to know, heal, and break this cycle.
15 Signs Your Parents Were Narcissists
The most common red flags of narcissistic parents are as follows:
1. They did not admit their mistakes.
2. They avoided discussing issues concerning you.
3. They were not open communicators.
4. You are often gaslighted by them.
5. They only love you when you are perfect or when you meet their expectations, which are often unrealistic.
6. You were usually blamed for when anything went wrong.
7. Whenever you tried setting healthy boundaries, they were emotionally manipulative and made you feel irrational or guilty.
8. They always want you to focus on them, but rarely do the same in return.
9. They often pay more mind to what others will think and not your feelings.
10. They seldom let you talk in a conversation.
11. They undermine the choices made by their children, especially when they are adults.
12. They liked playing the victim.
13. They dismiss or mock the responses you make out of emotion.
14. Your achievements in life make them feel jealous.
15. They often become overbearing and try imposing their views on you.
The Effects On Your Adulthood
Therapists say that your selection of partners can be affected by having narcissistic parents. For instance, you may become controlling like your parents.
At the same time, you might prefer meek people who are easy to dominate. Some others might even stay away from relationships altogether, because of the trauma of being controlled.
It can also influence you into becoming a narcissist. Children, while growing up, mimic what they see. This means they can incorporate all the demanding, controlling, and entitled behaviors of the parents.
Some adults might have grown up to be extremely self-sacrificial. This gets carried into their relationships as well.
They tend to inhibit their wishes and dreams because narcissistic parents expect them to be like that. They also tend to prefer people-pleasing to the point that their subjectivity often gets erased.
Narcissistic parents are often critical and judgmental. This can make your internal messaging judgmental as well. It can make you a perfectionist, have self-doubt, or suffer from too little confidence.
Identifying emotions can be a struggle for kids having narcissistic parents, since they may have dissociated to preserve themselves. Moreover, having such parents can also cause anxiety, self-doubt, and depression.
Ways Of Healing And Breaking The Chain
The first step would be learning about narcissism and understanding how it works. Then you can get a professional therapist to help you.
The therapist will also help you in setting healthy boundaries. Finally, grieving the fact that your parents were not what you wanted can be beneficial as well.
When it comes to breaking this chain, the first thing you can do is let your child experience separation. During that time, it is also important that parents set limits as well.
Children need healthy limitations which might be difficult for people-pleasing parents. A child learns the limits of social interaction by watching their parents.
Having narcissistic parents may result in having self-esteem and mental health issues as an adult. But understanding the actions of the parents and getting professional help are good methods of healing and ensuring that you do not become the same.
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