by Conscious Reminder
Everyone wants to know what the key to a happy life with your partner is. But very few seem to get it. We are living in a world where divorce rates are constantly climbing higher and it seems that eternal or even long lasting love is a myth.
But it doesn’t have to be so. For you to be happy in your relationship and make it successful you need to reach the delicate but essential balance of love for the other, and for your own self. You will have to learn to love your partner unconditionally, and yet, at the same time make sure that you are being true to yourself.
Most people can easily master one of these; they could either be too good at loving and giving and would go to any lengths to make their partners feel happy. Whereas the other kind is exceptionally good at receiving this love, they love themselves too much and feel that all if this is what they deserve, but somehow they forget to, or always fall short of returning this love.
Unless both these qualities are present in equal manner, you cannot hope to have a happy marriage. Other than these, only one more thing remains which is very crucial for a happy relationship, and that is perseverance. One of the reasons why we go through so many breakups is because we give up too soon.
We are always flitting from one partner to the other hoping to find a relationship which works. Well the truth is, it will work if you work for it. When you keep at it instead of giving up on the first signs of problems, that’s when you’ve mastered your relationship.
There’s an old Buddhist story which fits in perfectly with this context. There was a rich man who had a lot of land to his name. He dreamt that he’d draw water from his land which would taste pure and sweet and would be clear as a mirror. He got his servants to dig up a well and at 10 feet they got water.
It was as sweet and pure as his dreams, but the well dried up too soon. He moved in to another location and dug another well; same results. He continued to do so for the rest of his life and dug up so many wells, but never able to quench his thirst because they’d dry up. What he needed to do was to dig deeper instead of moving to another place.
If he would have stuck to any one to the wells and dug deeper and deeper, till a depth of 100 feet, he would have found the source of water, but he didn’t put effort in that one well and instead kept digging up new ones hoping that they’d work.
When we love our partner like this, we would be satisfying the former part of the necessary bond. Trying to love them better, being there for them when needed and looking at their qualities is like digging for the well.
Focusing on their qualities and choosing not to dwell too much on their negative points is staying at it. And self love is giving yourself the nourishment of finding that water.
When you look at those couples who have made it work, you’d realize that all of them have one thing in common. They all had a story where they were so close to giving up, but didn’t. And that has made all the difference.
Learn from their experience and commit yourself to a person whom you can love without giving up on your truth and vice versa.
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