Are You Sure Your Kids Are Feeling Heard?

by Conscious Reminder

Many parents complain that their kids do not listen to them.

On the other hand, the kids state that the parents never try to listen to what they have to say. So, as parents, are we sure we do that?

Children thrive when their needs, wants, feelings, and thoughts are heard. It is not children, all of us need someone to listen to us when we are doubtful, or after making mistakes, or communicating our successes and dreams.

So we can think of listening as one of the sacred responsibilities and greatest gifts for our kids. When we are heard compassionately without criticism, blame, judgment, or advice, it lifts a weight off of our hearts.

Our kids learn about themselves from what we teach them. When we hear what they want to say, it enhances the children’s self-esteem. They know and admire when we show intention in discovering the individuals that they are.

When we trust them, they learn how to trust themselves. They feel confident in who they are growing up to be, and not wary that their parents are trying to mold them to fit their expectations.

The Power That Comes With Listening

The first step to start listening to what our children are saying is admitting that we have not done it so far. We must acknowledge the guilty feeling that comes with it.

The majority of us realize the wrong that we are doing and remember how we felt when our parents did the same. But there is always time for a change, so accept it and move on.

Start by asking yourself if we wish to listen or whether we care more about what they should be hearing. Do we only pretend to listen? You will get the best answer from your children.

If they do point out that we appear to be distracted, then acknowledge it. Tell them that you want to listen to them, and are working on doing it better.

A fun and space to get to know your kids are by dancing and having fun with them. The physical movement will make it easier for them to open up and for you to listen to them.

Listening to our children also means listening to the parts within you that you avoided. By doing that, we teach our kids to do the same and communicate their different feelings better.

If there is ever a difficulty in understanding what your children said, then keep asking them until the point is crystal clear to you. Try to avoid listening to parts, and filling in the rest with your assumptions.

It is also important to listen properly before reacting. Reacting only takes a second but it can have long-lasting consequences. Listening needs you to be patient, on the other hand.

When you hear something shocking, breathe first and steady yourself. Then listen calmly to everything they have to say on the matter. Impulsive emotional reactions without any logic will fail to communicate what you try to tell them.

Listening Is A Way To Freedom

Keep in mind that listening is a way to liberation. Avoid thinking that your children’s experiences are not something too bad.

No matter how small they seem to you, let the children know that we love them, that those words count, and that they will be loved regardless if they lose or win.

If you are too busy to listen, then tell them that, and let them know when you can listen. Be careful of quickly shutting up your children when their views are different.

Hear them while giving them a chance to deal with the problems on their own. Just accompany them as they solve what they thought was unsolvable.   

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