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4 Rules for Emotional Detachment

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by Conscious Reminder

When people hear these two words, detachment and emotional release, they feel selfishness and coldness.

Understanding the first word, detachment, within a context of personal growth will withhold strong inner values, which every person has to learn how to develop.

When you practice detachment, it does not imply that you give up everything that’s important to you or break useful bonds with the ones you love; it means that you know how to appreciate them, love them, and engage in a relationship with them from a healthier and more balanced perspective.

On the other hand, emotional release permits you to live honestly, grow, and advise wisely without causing anyone pain.

These are the four laws of emotional release and of detachment too:

1. Take responsibility for your own actions. 

You are the one who created your life, as no one else has the ability to live, breathe, or even bear the pains and sorrows you feel. Every single step that you are taking is quite important in that walk.

Keep this law in mind, which will help you understand that, simply, you are the person who has the responsibility for yourself. Not your parent, not your spouse, not your children—it has to be you. 

You should not hold others responsible for your actions. Also, don’t think that you will need an ideal partner to lead a happy and fulfilled life. You are enough for yourself.

Don’t take other people’s opinions as a measure of your happiness and satisfaction, as you are not going to achieve anything else but pain and suffering. Other people cannot meet your own needs. Also, remember that you need to grow up and take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.

2. Living in the present and accepting reality

Often, people find it hard to make peace with life and its nature. They forget that nothing is permanent, and everything changes. That’s life. ‘Perpetuum Mobile’. Everything flows and follows its own course.

A lot of us still focus on our past, and we find it hard to love our present lives. Others focus on the future and what’s going to happen. They also get their heads stuck in predicting the future, missing out on many great things happening to them now. 

No matter how painful forgetting the past can be, you have to accept it. Try to understand that it simply disappeared, and learn how to forgive too. This is definitely going to give you freedom and even help you focus on important matters—the present and only the present. Free yourself from the claws of your own past, as the future is not THEN, but NOW. Every next second is the future. 

3. Free yourself and others.

You have to understand that freedom is probably the most healthy, complete, and full way of enjoying life, as well as understanding life overall. When you are free, you can create connections with other people. So, some of the things that form part of your personal growth are building relationships, loving other people, and, most importantly, being loved.

Detachment will tell you that you don’t have to take responsibility for other people’s lives and that they won’t be able to hurt you if you don’t let them. Taking responsibility for someone else is only going to bring you suffering.

In cases like this one, detachment is fundamental.

4. You can’t win at everything.

You have to accept the fact that nothing in this life can last forever. Relationships, life, or material possessions are there now, but that doesn’t mean they will stay forever. 

In life, you’ll lose some people. Some will get distant, others will move to a different place, children will grow up, and some will pass away.

Every single thing in your life is connected to your practical learning of detachment. You have to understand that everything’s normal and face the situation with courage, poise, and tranquility.

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