by Conscious Reminder
Whenever we think of relationships, we end up in our fantasy world of magic. A relationship – it almost feels like an idealistic world. You love someone, they love you back, there are no problems.
But that image – that idealistic thought is what can lead to massive problems in a relationship. We all have a unique perspective on what a relationship should look like. But it is these ideals that can actually harm our love life. Rather, if we don’t change these ideals, we might not even find our love.
Here are the mistakes which obstruct us from finding our love:
1. Smooth Relationships
Relationships are not meant to be smooth all the time. It will have several ups and downs. It is bound to be a roller coaster ride. You just have to deal with it that way. However, if you have the idea in your head that a relationship should always be smooth-sailing, then it is bound to go wrong.
You will first judge your partner on the basis of whether they will always keep the relationship stable and happy. Rather than learning how to deal with a situation, you will judge others whether they are capable of handling different situations. In the end, you will be rejecting people randomly just because you expect smooth relationships.
2. Appearing to agreeable
At times, you might want to appear as agreeable as possible. You do not want to make your partner feel terrible or you purposely want to appear low-maintenance. That’s why you keep yourself almost unchanging, and always lower your demands without challenging your partner.
This is the way to stagnate a relationship. In a relationship, there has to be some challenge. Show your true desires – only then will your partner want to improve and try to fulfill it. If you never show what you want, your partner will remain aloof. The result will be a lack of growth in the relationship.
3. Ignoring red flags
Another major thing that we do wrong when we are in a relationship is ignoring the red flags. You see them but you don’t want to tackle them at all. You just say ‘We are human, we are imperfect’.
In this manner, you brush the red flags into the zone of ‘normal human imperfection’. Ignoring red flags can end up making your relationship a really toxic one. In all these mistakes, you will see one thing – there is a lack of honesty. So, engage in a kind of radical honesty. Be completely honest with your partner. Know that a relationship will have conflict.
You don’t have to accommodate anyone or appear agreeable – you can show your true desires. That way you make the relationship grow. Take risks in a relationship. Test it again and again. That’s the only way you can find whether it is durable or not.
Be honest and get the best out of your relationship. It will be worth it.
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