by Conscious Reminder
Letting go of toxic friends or acquaintances can get easy, but letting go of toxic family usually isn’t.
It could be anyone- your uncle from some far family-connect who you usually meet at Bar Mitzvahs or your own brother.
But, the moment you identify them as being toxic, the best thing to do in that situation would be to separate yourself. Not only will it help you, but it will also take care of your sanity.
But how do we understand if a particular relationship is toxic? Honestly though, if you have to ask, then it probably is.
Also, there are several markers- ask yourself if the person has ever been aggressive or hostile towards you for no reason whatsoever. If they have been, you have your answer.
Other red flags include spreading rumors about you, bad-mouthing you, insulting you, deliberately injuring you, and anything that you aren’t comfortable with that they still do after knowing that it bothers you.
We get it that you are uncomfortable cutting someone off who comes from the same family, but it is your life which is at stake- no one matters more. See, it doesn’t mean that you have to completely stop hanging out with them.
It simply means putting a healthy space between them and you- they need to realize it is not okay to hurt someone continuously simply because they are family. They need to realize that actions have consequences.
There is no one so selfless that they would do things for other people, not expecting anything in return. We all do. But to a certain level. When your family member keeps asking favors or money without ever returning them, it is best you step away.
There are only enough times that you can exhibit concern for anyone when they are not inclined to do so themselves. Place yourself to safety first.
Just because they are family doesn’t mean that they can treat you any which way. There are still boundaries and rules that you can place that would help you save yourself from a lot of mental problems later.
And, they need to learn that they aren’t in the right treating you like that.
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