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What Makes People Stay In Toxic Relationships

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by Conscious Reminder

It may be difficult to identify a toxic relationship and much more challenging to end it.

Toxic relationships are so terrible and dominating that many individuals compare being in one to being hooked on drugs.

Due to causes such as codependency, anxiety, or trauma bonds, many individuals develop an addiction to these types of relationships. Relationships between parents and children, siblings, and between romantic partners can all be toxic relationships.

Toxic relationships develop when one partner uses control, intimidation, indifference, or selfishness as a basis for their interactions with the other. The victims are usually individuals who grew up in toxic households. So, they find safety in chaos. 

Do Not Romantacize Your Partner 

Anxiety, stress, eating disorders, trust problems, as well as other mental illnesses may all be caused by or exacerbated by toxic relationships. Additionally, they are characterized by addictive interaction cycles that may be hard to escape.

What one’s partner says may often be taken to heart. Narcissistic partners often use love-bombing and breadcrumbing to keep you hooked. You get addicted to the little bits of affection they show you.

Another instance would be if your spouse admitted to you that occasionally their love language is too physical, but it simply proves they care about you. This is how they convince you to accept their poisonous conduct, and it is also how you come to believe that this is love.

It might be tough to recognize if you are in an unhealthy relationship since toxic spouses often employ manipulation and deception to keep you under their control.

“Unconditional Love” Should Be A Two-Way Street

Too many people feel that a victim of domestic violence is choosing to remain in a  toxic relationship and that they can cease the abuse simply by leaving.

Familiarity generates a sense of security, which is why we often hold on to happy memories rather than letting go of the sad ones. And that is why we continue to return to the same people that hurt us the most.

Despite our distaste for their current selves, we might yet have a deep affection for their former selves. For some reason, we convince ourselves that if we stick around in an unhappy relationship, our partner will eventually come around. In reality, the time it takes to effect change inside ourselves is often underestimated.

Toxic Relationships Have Patterns

The greatest way to understand a person is to look at how they typically behave. For example, a pattern may be identified if someone has repeatedly wounded you and has refused to apologize or accept responsibility for their actions.

Repeated deception from the same person becomes a pattern. And that if you catch yourself trying to make excuses for their conduct or giving them opportunity after opportunity, but they continue to do the exact thing, you are disregarding the pattern.

Perspective in a relationship may be gained by stepping back and taking a look at the big picture. Ask yourself:

  • Please explain the ways in which you find this connection to be fulfilling.
  • Please explain the areas in which this partnership fails to meet your needs.
  • In what ways does this individual make you feel threatened, ignored, or dissatisfied?
  • How frequently do they do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened?
  • Have I been clear about what I want? Am I expecting things to just work out with this person, or am I expecting that things would work out on their own without my having to put in any effort to know what I’m looking for and communicate that need to them?
  • Is there any indication that this individual is making an effort to fulfill my requirements and improve our relationship?
  • Where do I get my ideas about what this individual will be like for me or how they will treat me?
  • Am I romanticizing this individual, or am I being honest with myself?

Ending a toxic relationship is extremely painful. However, in the long run, you’ll be much happier without them. You need to work on your issues, or else you will continue getting into toxic relationships.  

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